Self & Others

Our ability to use self-compassion to be with pain is one key to working with our feelings of intense grief and shock. Another helpful aspect of self-compassion is equanimity. Equanimity refers to the balance and calm that arises when we acknowledge human imperfection with an open heart.

Self-compassion involves being caring and supportive toward ourselves, so that we give ourselves what we truly need to be happy. But that leaves the question – what about our relationship partners? Don’t we also want them to be caring, supportive, and meet our needs?

Self-compassion plays a crucial role for caregivers. Whether you’re a parent, caring for your elderly parents, or are a professional like a nurse, doctor, social worker, or therapist, you need to turn compassion inward in order to sustain turning it outward.

As we immerse ourselves in this ocean of giving, it’s important that we allow the waves of generosity to flow inward as well as outward. When we express gratitude to those we love, we can also appreciate ourselves. When we show compassion toward the suffering of others, our hearts can

Recognition of our shared humanity is central to self-compassion. As opposed to self-pity, which is a self-focused “poor me” mindset, compassion honors the fact that all people are imperfect, and all people lead imperfect lives.

Some people are in fulfilling romantic relationships and Valentine’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to express appreciation for one’s partner. The problem, however, is the not-so-subtle message that romance is necessary for our happiness – that we need someone else to complete us.

One of the most important strengths that self-compassion provides is the ability to care for others without losing ourself. Whether we’re professional caregivers or caring for loved ones, stress and burnout often accompany our good work.