
One of the most important strengths that self-compassion provides is the ability to care for others without losing ourself. Whether we’re professional caregivers or caring for loved ones, stress and burnout often accompany our good work.
Although this phenomenon is often called “compassion fatigue,” compassion isn’t draining. It’s empathic distress that’s the main culprit. Our brains are designed to feel the emotions of others through our mirror neurons, so when we’re in the presence of people in pain, we feel that pain in our own brains – literally.
Layer on top of this the stress and chaos that often accompanies caregiving, especially for people like frontline healthcare workers battling the pandemic, and you have a recipe for burnout.
It is crucial that caregivers learn how to validate and give compassion to their own stress and empathic pain in order for them to have the resources to continue to help.
Another key is equanimity – the understanding that we aren’t in control of whether or not those we care for get better or not. We can do our very best to help, but we need to let go of the illusion that we’re superhumans who determine what happens.
Research shows it reduces burnout, and it can also help our patients. Empathic resonance goes two ways, and those we care for will pick up on our calmer and more compassionate state of mind through their mirror neurons and benefit from our presence.
I’ve recorded a 6-minute practice called Compassion with Equanimity, which is designed to be used while caring for others who are suffering. I hope you enjoy it.
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