Techniques for Working with Difficult Emotions
When we experience difficult emotions like sadness, fear, shame, confusion, or disappointment, we often become overwhelmed. We can spiral into reactivity or shut down as we try to cope. One of the most powerful aspects of tender self-compassion is the ability to hold our difficult emotions with spaciousness and warmth, so we aren’t so overwhelmed.
Drawing Boundaries
Do you find yourself saying yes to requests automatically, even when you don’t want to? Do you worry excessively about hurting others feelings or being disliked if you say no? Many of us have trouble drawing clear boundaries, especially if we assume that being “nice” means being accommodating.
Why Caregivers Need Self-Compassion
One of the most important strengths that self-compassion provides is the ability to care for others without losing ourself. Whether we’re professional caregivers or caring for loved ones, stress and burnout often accompany our good work.
Working with Backdraft
When we give ourselves love, sometimes we remember all the conditions under which we were unloved. When we open to our pain, feelings we’ve repressed for a lifetime may rise up and overwhelm us.
What is Tender Self-Compassion?
While fierce self-compassion takes action to alleviate suffering, tender self-compassion taps into the power of acceptance to heal distress. When we can simply “be with” ourselves as we are, soothing and validating our pain, we handle difficult moments with greater ease. By radically accepting ourselves and opening to the pain of life with tenderness, it doesn’t hurt so badly.
