Working with Backdraft

Practicing self-compassion can be difficult and even scary.

When we give ourselves love, sometimes we remember all the conditions under which we were unloved. When we open to our pain, feelings we’ve repressed for a lifetime may rise up and overwhelm us.

We need to feel safe as we practice self-compassion. My close colleague Chris Germer calls the difficult feelings that may arise during self-compassion practice “backdraft.”

This is a fire-fighting term used to describe what happens when you throw open the doors of a house on fire: oxygen rushes in and the flames rush out. Similarly, when we open our hearts and the love rushes in, our past trauma, pain or insecurity may rush out.

Backdraft isn’t a problem, it’s a sign the healing process has begun.

But we want to be safe as we practice self-compassion, making sure we feel stable and grounded as we learn this new way of relating to ourselves.

One way to do this is simply to feel the soles of our feet touching the floor as we’re sitting, standing, or walking.

Research shows that this practice helps us to calm down and re-center.  Any time we focus our attention on a single object like the breath or a mantra our minds tend to settle. But I believe there’s also something special about focusing on the soles of our feet.

First, it means we’re moving our attention as far away from the thoughts in our head as physically possible.

Also, when we feel grounded to the floor through the soles of our feet, we feel supported by the stability offered by mother earth.

I’ve recorded a 5-minute practice called Soles of the Feet that can help you ground and stabilize yourself when you’re experiencing backdraft or any other difficult emotions. I hope you enjoy it.