
One of the hallmarks of being an adult is making commitments that shape our lives. Many of us make commitments to romantic partners, children, friends, and pets: We show up for them when they struggle and take care of their needs as best we can. We commit to our education or careers: We show up and do the work that’s required of us.Â
Sometimes we fail to meet our commitments, of course, but they still guide how we act in the world. They help motivate us to repair mistakes and try again. Â
Perhaps one of the most important commitments we can make is to show up for ourselves in a supportive way. Self-compassion involves caring for our own wellbeing in moments of suffering. Supporting ourselves emotionally, physically, and psychologically when we’re in need. But how many of us make an intentional, conscious commitment to ourselves?
If you’re reading this right now you’ve probably identified the benefits of self-compassion for your mental and physical health. But have you explicitly committed to self-compassion as an ongoing practice?
There are cultural and physiological reasons why we tend to judge rather than support ourselves when we fail or make mistakes. But when we make a commitment to self-compassion, it helps us to be learn from our mistakes and try again. We feel safer and more secure knowing that we have made a commitment to there for ourselves to the best of our ability.Â
You may be wondering how to go about making a commitment to self-compassion? One way is to state your intentions either silently, out loud or in writing. You can say something along the lines of: “I promise I won’t abandon you;” “I resolve to help you every step of the way;” “I vow to accept your human imperfection with an open heart.” You can do so in a ceremonial way if you like, perhaps by lighting a candle.
It’s also very helpful to join a group of people who value self-compassion. One of the primary reasons I created the Self-Compassion Community is to help people make a conscious commitment to learning and growing this supportive mindset. Interacting with others who value self-compassion reinforces its place in your life. Even if you can’t make it to our live events, we offer multiple ways to practice and becoming a community member solidifies your commitment in a tangible way. Â
As this new year unfolds, I hope that you make a commitment to self-compassion in whatever way feels right for you. By supporting yourself, you will have more emotional resources available to honor all the other commitments in your life.
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I wish you all a productive and peaceful New Year.
Warmly,
KristinÂ
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