Coping with a world on fire
Dear friends,
Every day we are bombarded with upsetting and frightening news – whether it’s devastating wildfires, plane crashes, wars, mass shootings, acts of cruelty or seeming madness. The alarming pace of social, political and environmental change can feel overwhelming and destabilizing. We can be left feeling like it’s all too much and may just want to hide our head in the sand.  How can we cope with all the turmoil happening in the world? Â
Research shows that self-compassion is essential to helping us cope with traumatic events and instability. A meta-analysis of 136 studies found that when faced with stressful experiences like earthquakes, bullying, cancer, or the Covid pandemic, self-compassion helps us to deal with our distress and take action to address problems in a more productive and effective manner.
Tender self-compassion allows us to turn inward and acknowledge our difficult feelings.  Rather than ignoring our fear and distress or trying to distract ourselves with unhealthy behaviors, self-compassion gives us the strength to turn toward the pain.  When you hear disturbing news, for instance, you can put your hands on your body in a supportive manner and say some kind and understanding words to yourself, validating your feelings and remembering you aren’t alone.
Fierce self-compassion encourages us to turn outward and take action to counter harm.  While we often can’t control what’s happening, we may be able to take small steps that make a difference.  We can write to our local politicians, send money to fire victims, attend protests, or speak up when overhearing a disparaging comment about a marginalized group.Â
It may not seem like much, but just because we’re limited in our ability to control external circumstances doesn’t mean that we should hang our heads in defeat. We all have a compassionate aspect of our being that is brave and fierce – like a mama bear who naturally wants to protect her cubs. This essential aspect of our humanity acts to prevent harm because we care.
It can be hard to be fierce when the fear feels overwhelming, but it’s more important than ever that we try to do so. Like yin and yang, we need to balance tender acceptance with fierce action to cope in scary and stressful circumstances.
I’ve recorded a 15-minute guided visualization called Fierce Friend that will hopefully help you get in touch with your inner mama bear. When you create a visual image and hear the voice of your fierce friend, you can lean on it for guidance and support when you need it most.
Self-compassion provides a refuge from the storm as we try to navigate stressful and uncertain times.  It can help us find the strength, courage, and resilience we need to get through life’s most challenging moments.Â
