For Valentine’s Day, Try Being Nice to Yourself
The New York Times
Being nice to yourself, particularly during a personal setback or a stressful experience, is known among psychologists as self-compassion. Self-compassion can be cultivated to reduce depression, stress, performance anxiety and body dissatisfaction, leading to happiness, self-confidence and improved immune function.
The Transformative Effects of Mindful Self-Compassion
Mindful.org
Leading experts on mindful self-compassion Drs. Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer share how self-kindness, recognition of our humanity, and mindfulness give us the strength to thrive.
Why Women Need Fierce Self-Compassion
Greater Good Magazine
For many survivors of sexual assault and trauma, the testimony Christine Blasey Ford gave before the Senate Judiciary Committee about her alleged sexual assault by Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh triggered painful personal memories. When women encounter pain and suffering, they are expected to respond with gentleness, tenderness, and warmth. But today, women need a different response: fierce self-compassion.
Today, Be Kind to Yourself
The New York Times
The testimony Christine Blasey Ford gave before the Senate Judiciary Committee about her alleged sexual assault by Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh captivated viewers across America. For many survivors of sexual assault and trauma, her account triggered painful personal memories. Practicing self-compassion, or self-care, can help mitigate feelings of shame and judgment, which are often experienced by assault survivors and PTSD sufferers.
Give Yourself a Break: The Power of Self-Compassion
Harvard Business Review
When we experience a setback, we tend to either become defensive and blame others, or berate ourselves. Research shows that we should respond instead with self-compassion, boosting performance by triggering the “growth mindset”—the belief that improvement is achievable through dedication and hard work.
Why You Should Stop Being So Hard on Yourself
The New York Times
Self-criticism can take a toll on our minds and bodies, leading to ruminative thoughts that interfere with our productivity, impacting our bodies by stimulating inflammatory mechanisms that lead to chronic illness and accelerate aging. It is important to learn positive ways around negativity bias and turn self-criticism into opportunities for learning and personal growth.
Self-Compassion for Parents
Greater Good Magazine
Stop beating yourself up for being a bad parent by learning to use self-compassion as a resource for resiliency and a protective buffer against both internal and external criticism. Learn how to take routine self-compassion breaks, practice loving-kindness meditation, and visualize the presence of someone important to you when you need parenting support.
The Promise of Self-Compassion for Stressed-Out Teens
The New York Times
Today’s generation of adolescents are plagued by more self-criticism and distress than any generation on record. Self-compassion has been shown by researchers to ease symptoms of psychopathology, while also bolstering motivation and high-performance standards.
Why Self-Compassion Beats Self-Confidence
The New York Times
Self-confidence makes you feel better about your abilities, but it can also lead you to vastly overestimate them. Self-compassion, on the other hand, encourages you to acknowledge your flaws and limitations, allowing you to look at yourself from a more objective and realistic point of view. Both have merits, but many experts believe that self-compassion includes the advantages of self-confidence without the drawbacks.
The Self-Compassion Solution
Scientific American Mind
Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would a friend. People who struggle with this concept do not necessarily lack compassion toward others, but they hold themselves to higher standards than they would expect of anyone else. Developing self-compassion allows them to recognize and accept their own feelings rather than constantly challenging themselves to “do better.”
How to Cultivate More Self-Compassion
Psychology Today
Having self-compassion means being able to recognize the difference between making a bad decision and being a bad person. When you have self-compassion, you understand that your worth is unconditional. It’s important to practice self-compassion and being kind to yourself in good times and bad, in sickness and in health — and even when you make mistakes.
Don’t Fall into the Self-Esteem Trap: Try a Little Self Kindness
Mindful.org
Striving for self-esteem is about trying hard to feel special, above average. It’s absurd. We don’t need to feel extra-special or over the top. We need to touch who we really are in any given moment.
The 5 Myths of Self-Compassion: What Keeps Us from Being Kinder to Ourselves?
Psychotherapy Networker
Tackle the most common misconceptions that stop you from being kinder to yourself and stop accepting your experience as it is and learn to embrace yourself with warmth and tenderness when experiencing pain. Learn to accept the fact that, along with everyone else on the planet, you’re flawed and an imperfect individual, just as likely as anyone else to be hit by the slings and arrows of misfortune.
The Five Myths of Self-Compassion
Greater Good Magazine
Tackle the most common misconceptions that stop you from being kinder to yourself and stop accepting your experience as it is and learn to embrace yourself with warmth and tenderness when experiencing pain. Learn to accept the fact that, along with everyone else on the planet, you’re flawed and an imperfect individual, just as likely as anyone else to be hit by the slings and arrows of misfortune.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Greater Good Magazine
Kristin Neff discusses how self-compassion differs from self-esteem, why self-compassion can be hard for Americans, and the transformative effect it had on her own life–part of Greater Good’s podcast series.
Why Self-Compassion Trumps Self-Esteem
Greater Good Magazine
Learn the benefits of going easy on yourself: less anxiety, less conflict, and more peace of mind. Stop judging and evaluating yourself and simply accept yourself with an open heart and treat yourself with the same kindness, caring, and compassion as you would show to your friends or strangers.
Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges
The New York Times
Research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. Dr. Kristin Neff’s book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” features a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.