Self-Compassionate Motivation

One of the biggest blocks to practicing self-compassion is the belief that it will undermine our motivation.  People think that if they’re kind to themselves, they’ll become lazy, irresponsible, and complacent. The opposite is true.

Tender self-compassion allows us to accept ourselves unconditionally, while fierce self-compassion spurs us to take action to change behaviors or situations that cause suffering. This means that instead of taking it personally when we fail, we remember that failure is human, and we try to learn from our mistakes.

Research shows that self-compassionate people have less performance anxiety, more self-confidence, and less fear of failure.  They’re more willing to take risks, have a growth orientation, and value learning over self-image.  They persist longer in their efforts and are more likely to keep trying after setbacks. And they’re more likely to take personal responsibility for harm done and make amends.

With self-compassion, we try to reach our goals or make changes not because we’re inadequate as we are, but because we care about ourselves and want to be happy. We give ourselves the same type of warmth, encouragement, support, and wisdom that a good parent, friend, mentor, or coach might show.

We don’t sugar-coat the truth, because that doesn’t help.  We offer constructive criticism that’s informative rather than harsh criticism that’s shaming.  And it’s much easier to hear!

I’ve created a 7-minute practice called the Motivating Self-Compassion Break that can help motivate you to make a change or reach a goal that’s important to you.

You won’t know if it works until you try it out for yourself!