Living a Fulfilling Life

Labor Day marks the end of summer in the US and is designed to be a day of respite. Most of us work hard at home or at our profession, but how many of us stop to ask ourselves what makes us truly happy?

Fierce self-compassion is the powerful, action-oriented side of caring for ourselves that we can harness to make our days fulfilling and meaningful. One of the most consistent findings of the research literature is that self-compassion leads to greater life satisfaction and contentment. It does so in part by encouraging us to ask ourselves what brings us joy in life. 

Of course, some people don’t know the answer to the question “what makes me happy?”  That’s okay. More important than a particular answer is the act of asking the question in the first place. It’s an affirmation that our needs and desires count.

The three components of self-compassion – kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness – take on a particular form when our goal is to find inner happiness.

Kindness manifests as fulfillment. When we really care for ourselves, we explore what gives our life meaning – artistic expression, time spent in nature, family, spirituality? We stop depleting ourselves by giving ourselves away, and instead nourish ourselves by paying attention to our deepest yearnings.

Acknowledging common humanity creates balance. My research shows that self-compassionate people don’t subordinate their desires to those of others, but they don’t prioritize them either. Rather, a balanced solution that considers everyone’s needs and desires is sought out. Self-compassionate people also tend to have more work-life balance.

Mindfulness helps us to be authentic.  It guides us to look within to figure out what we truly want and value in life. Rather than simply going along with what society tells us is important, research shows that self-compassion allows us to know and express our true self.

I’ve created a 5-minute practice called the Providing Self-Compassion Break that can help us develop fulfilling, balanced authenticity as we follow our unique life path. I hope you enjoy it.