Embracing the Fall

Fall is upon us. Some of us are sad to see the hot summer days go, others can’t wait for the leaves to turn and temperatures to cool. Most of us can agree that a world with only one season would be much less interesting than our continually changing weather patterns.

A similar metaphor can be made for our internal weather patterns. If we were only positive and experienced pleasant thoughts and emotions all the time, life would lose much of its depth and meaning.

It is the interplay of the light and dark that allows us to experience the richness of being an imperfect human being.

Self-compassion has this richness and complexity built in. When our experience is bitter, we offer ourselves the sweetness of kind, connected presence.

We don’t seek to replace negativity or deny its existence. Instead, self-compassion holds pain with love and thereby allows us to open to the full spectrum of our unfolding, ever-changing lives.

Loving-kindness is a traditional meditation practice that uses language and imagery to generate feelings of goodwill.

It often involves using phrases such as “May I be happy,” “May I be peaceful,” or “May I live with ease” as a way to grow the muscle of goodwill toward ourselves and others.

Some mistake this goodwill for good feelings, but when loving-kindness encounters distress the feeling-tone changes. As one monk put it:

“When the sunshine of loving-kindness meets the tears of suffering the rainbow of compassion appears.”

There is a practice called Loving-Kindness with Self-Compassion that intentionally directs feelings of loving-kindness toward suffering. It’s included here.

When you’re are feeling distressed, practicing this version of loving-kindness may land more authentically for you.

May loving-kindness and self-compassion help you to open to all the seasons of your heart.