Bringing Caring Force to the World

The current news portrays a world that is out-of-balance, verging on out-of-control. Temperatures have reached record-breaking highs across the globe as climate change barrels on. War rages in Europe.  Fundamental rights are being reversed in the United States.

How can we maintain equilibrium when faced with such disarray?

By tapping into “caring force” – a healthy balance between fierce and tender self-compassion – we can find more stable footing as we meet the challenges in our world.

Tender self-compassion is the accepting, nurturing side of caring that provides validation, comfort and soothing when we struggle. Fierce self-compassion is the powerful, action-oriented side of caring that provides focus, motivation and protection when we struggle. When we combine tender acceptance with fierce action, we can try to solve the world’s problems without simply adding to them.

When these two energies are out of balance, difficulties ensue. If we’re too accepting without enough fierce action, problems like climate change and authoritarianism will continue to grow unchecked.

However, if we’re too fierce without tender acceptance of ourselves and the human condition, we may become aggressive and exacerbate the political polarization and “othering” that contributes to world conflict.

To find balance, we need to honor and invite both energies to arise, merging and integrating within us. When we take action to change harmful situations, we can remember that those causing the situations (think politicians, corporate leaders) are human beings worthy of compassion and consideration. When we accept the failings and limitations of human society, we can also take steps to make change (think energy conservation, voting, writing op-eds, talking to our neighbors in a respectful yet brave way).

We will undoubtedly get knocked off balance over and over again, but we can take corrective steps to regain our center. Apologies may be necessary along the way. That’s okay.

We can ask simple questions like “Where in my life do I need to find more courage to speak up, say no, take action?”  and “Where in my life do I need to be more accepting of myself or others as human beings doing the best we can in the moment?”

By balancing the energies of fierce and tender self-compassion, we create the type of caring force needed to make productive change in the world. As Martin Luther King Jr. wrote, “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”