Balancing Fierce and Tender Self-Compassion

The issue of how gender-role socialization can inhibit our ability to balance tender and fierce self-compassion is the main theme of my book – Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.  

Tender self-compassion is the gentle, nurturing side of caring that provides comfort and self-acceptance when we struggle. Fierce self-compassion is the powerful, action-oriented side of caring that provides strength, motivation and self-protection.

Problems emerge when they get out of balance: Tenderness without fierceness can lead to complacency, and fierceness without tenderness can become hostile or aggressive.

A useful metaphor for these two sides of self-compassion is yin and yang.  According to ancient Chinese philosophy, yin is a soft, yielding, receptive life energy while yang is a hard, forceful, goal-oriented energy.

I’ve created a 13-minute breath meditation where we work with the energies of yin and yang to help balance and integrate tender and fierce self-compassion. You can download the meditation here.

I hope this meditation helps you find balance within yourself so you can be a more effective agent of change in the world.