New Beginnings
This guided visualization helps you meet an inner compassionate friend who can help you at any moment.
As the new year begins, it’s worth looking to see if there are any habits, patterns, or behaviors that we want to change or let go of. Many of us fall into familiar ruts over time, even when those ways no longer serve us very well.
Maybe you realize that you’re spending a lot of time on social media but not as much quality time with your friends as you like. Perhaps your job is stressful, and you’ve started exercising less because you’re so busy, even though you know that exercising reduces your stress levels. Maybe you’re not eating well or sleeping enough or engaged in learning as much as you’d like.
The turning of the calendar doesn’t magically change our lives, but it does offer a helpful vantage point. The new year gives us permission to ask the quintessential self-compassion question: What do I need? In other words, is there anything you want to do differently, to let go of, or to cultivate?
Deep down we may know what we need, but what often gets in the way of acting on this knowledge are feelings of shame or inadequacy. We may tell ourselves that if we were stronger, wiser, or more disciplined, we wouldn’t need to begin again. So, to avoid these painful feelings, we simply don’t look at our habits too closely.
Sometimes we do try to make a change, but push ourselves with harsh resolutions, fueled more by self-criticism than by genuine concern. Over time, that approach tends to backfire. Shame narrows our attention and drains our motivation. It makes change feel threatening rather than supportive.
Self-compassion offers another path.
Self-compassion allows us to look honestly at our lives without judgment. It gives us the emotional safety to acknowledge what isn’t working, while also recognizing that struggle is part of being human. When we meet ourselves with warmth instead of blame, change becomes more sustainable. We’re more willing to learn from our experiences, take responsibility when needed, and try again when we stumble.
Beginning again with self-compassion doesn’t require dramatic resolutions. Often it starts with small, meaningful shifts. It might mean noticing when you’re being especially hard on yourself and pausing to soften your tone. It might mean allowing yourself to rest when you’re exhausted, or setting a boundary that you’ve been avoiding. It might also mean encouraging yourself toward growth—not by force, but through kindness.
One helpful way to cultivate this inner support is through the Compassionate Friend meditation, which I’m sharing with you this month. In this practice, you’re invited to visualize a compassionate friend—someone who sees you clearly, understands your struggles, and genuinely wants the best for you. This friend isn’t there to judge or pressure you. They offer wise guidance, encouragement, and perspective.
Many people find it easier to receive compassion from an imagined other before learning to offer it directly to themselves. Over time, the voice of this compassionate friend can become a resource you carry with you, especially in moments when you feel stuck, discouraged, or unsure how to move forward.
As you start the new year, I invite you to consider what “beginning again”
might look like if it were guided by compassion rather than criticism. You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to prove anything. You’re allowed to grow at your own pace, supported by care.
May this year be one in which you meet yourself with curiosity, encouragement, and understanding—especially when things don’t go as planned.
