WEBVTT 00:04.960 --> 00:06.480 So, I know some of you 00:06.480 --> 00:07.840 perhaps have not been 00:07.840 --> 00:09.080 to one of these guest 00:09.080 --> 00:10.480 conversations before. 00:10.480 --> 00:11.760 You might be one of, 00:11.760 --> 00:13.640 Tara's guests, actually. 00:13.640 --> 00:16.640 So just to let you know, the format. 00:16.800 --> 00:18.360 So for the first half hour, 00:18.360 --> 00:20.360 I will be having a conversation 00:20.360 --> 00:21.120 with Tara 00:21.120 --> 00:21.920 and ask her, 00:21.920 --> 00:24.320 asking her some of my questions. 00:24.320 --> 00:25.520 And then in the last 00:25.520 --> 00:26.200 half hour, 00:26.200 --> 00:27.080 we'll open it up 00:27.080 --> 00:29.680 to, participant questions. 00:29.680 --> 00:31.240 And I will go ahead and explain 00:31.240 --> 00:32.280 how we're going to do that. 00:32.280 --> 00:34.720 When the time comes 00:34.720 --> 00:35.200 that maybe 00:35.200 --> 00:38.000 just before we start going into our heads 00:38.000 --> 00:40.520 and all these great intellectual ideas, 00:40.520 --> 00:42.360 if we can just start for a moment by, 00:42.360 --> 00:44.080 reconnecting with their bodies, 00:44.080 --> 00:45.680 if you want to take a moment to pause, 00:45.680 --> 00:47.320 you can close your eyes if you like. 00:50.320 --> 00:51.080 And just notice 00:51.080 --> 00:54.080 that turn inward. 00:54.960 --> 00:56.160 That reconnection 00:56.160 --> 00:59.160 with the present moment. 01:00.120 --> 01:03.120 With being. 01:05.840 --> 01:08.200 And perhaps just reconnection 01:08.200 --> 01:11.200 with, With gratitude. 01:12.920 --> 01:16.440 For the fact that we are, alive 01:16.440 --> 01:18.480 and that we have chances 01:18.480 --> 01:21.480 to connect with others, especially 01:22.320 --> 01:23.640 with this wonderful 01:23.640 --> 01:26.640 guest star, Brach, and much gratitude 01:27.640 --> 01:30.640 to her as well. 01:33.440 --> 01:34.680 Okay. 01:34.680 --> 01:36.680 I don't want to take too long 01:36.680 --> 01:40.160 because we have a, lot to get through. 01:40.520 --> 01:42.240 So let me introduce Tara. 01:42.240 --> 01:42.800 Most of 01:42.800 --> 01:43.800 you know who she is, 01:43.800 --> 01:44.520 but let me just, 01:44.520 --> 01:45.840 also read a little bit 01:45.840 --> 01:46.840 about her background. 01:46.840 --> 01:49.280 She's a PhD psychologist. 01:49.280 --> 01:51.160 I think a lot of people don't know your 01:51.160 --> 01:51.840 PhD, Tara, 01:51.840 --> 01:53.040 because you're such a famous, 01:53.040 --> 01:55.560 meditation teacher. 01:55.560 --> 01:57.280 But she's she's also an author. 01:57.280 --> 01:59.320 She, authored the international, 01:59.320 --> 02:00.840 the bestselling books, 02:00.840 --> 02:04.160 radical acceptance, radical compassion 02:04.160 --> 02:07.200 in True Refuge and Trusting in the gold. 02:08.000 --> 02:10.680 She also has a very popular, podcast 02:10.680 --> 02:13.160 on emotional healing and compassion 02:13.160 --> 02:14.200 based activism 02:14.200 --> 02:15.520 that's downloaded millions 02:15.520 --> 02:16.560 of times per month. 02:17.600 --> 02:18.600 Tara's founder of the 02:18.600 --> 02:19.720 insight meditation 02:19.720 --> 02:21.720 community, Washington, 02:21.720 --> 02:22.320 she's been 02:22.320 --> 02:23.760 also a social activist, 02:23.760 --> 02:25.720 bringing, meditation 02:25.720 --> 02:26.600 and compassion 02:26.600 --> 02:27.480 into the prisons, 02:27.480 --> 02:28.120 for instance, 02:28.120 --> 02:30.960 and underserved populations. 02:30.960 --> 02:32.280 Along with Jack Kornfield, 02:32.280 --> 02:34.280 she leads the mindfulness meditation 02:34.280 --> 02:35.960 teacher certification program 02:35.960 --> 02:37.760 that's, enrolled thousands 02:37.760 --> 02:40.760 and thousands of people around the world. 02:41.280 --> 02:42.640 And on a personal note, 02:42.640 --> 02:44.640 I really consider, Tara 02:44.640 --> 02:46.680 a friend and a mentor. 02:46.680 --> 02:49.560 We've known each other for many years, 02:49.560 --> 02:52.520 and, I've got to tell you, 02:52.520 --> 02:53.120 the story 02:53.120 --> 02:54.480 of how I first got to know 02:54.480 --> 02:56.400 Tara and Tara's work. 02:56.400 --> 02:59.080 So I had learned about self-compassion 02:59.080 --> 03:02.080 from a tick not harm group and 96. 03:02.280 --> 03:03.280 And then I decided 03:03.280 --> 03:05.000 I wanted to research it. 03:05.000 --> 03:06.720 And so I got involved in insight, 03:06.720 --> 03:09.040 the insight meditation tradition. 03:09.040 --> 03:09.760 And I was reading 03:09.760 --> 03:10.720 books by Sharon 03:10.720 --> 03:12.160 Salzberg of Jack 03:12.160 --> 03:14.520 Kornfield, Christina Feldman, 03:14.520 --> 03:15.760 which mainly talked 03:15.760 --> 03:17.480 about compassion for others. 03:17.480 --> 03:18.760 And but I wanted to think about 03:18.760 --> 03:19.840 how can I create a scale 03:19.840 --> 03:21.920 to measure self-compassion. 03:21.920 --> 03:22.800 And I didn't know 03:22.800 --> 03:23.880 Tara personally 03:23.880 --> 03:25.520 because she had founded the Washington, 03:25.520 --> 03:27.360 DC Insight meditation, 03:27.360 --> 03:28.800 and I was going to spirit Rock, 03:28.800 --> 03:30.120 where I was near Berkeley, 03:30.120 --> 03:31.200 Northern California. 03:32.160 --> 03:33.040 So I read everything I 03:33.040 --> 03:34.720 could get my hands on. 03:34.720 --> 03:37.040 I created this scale, created the model, 03:37.040 --> 03:38.560 and I published the scale. 03:38.560 --> 03:40.560 And then 03:40.560 --> 03:43.120 this book came out 2003, 03:43.120 --> 03:44.520 after I published the scale 03:44.520 --> 03:46.320 that the original hard copy. 03:46.320 --> 03:47.080 And I read it 03:47.080 --> 03:48.640 and I opened the first chapter 03:48.640 --> 03:51.640 to the Trance of Unworthiness. 03:51.720 --> 03:54.520 And my first response, excuse me, Tara, 03:54.520 --> 03:56.200 this is true is shit. 03:56.200 --> 03:59.040 Why don't you publish this a year ago? 03:59.040 --> 04:00.680 Because I knew this was the book 04:00.680 --> 04:01.760 I had been waiting for. 04:01.760 --> 04:02.840 Because it wasn't 04:02.840 --> 04:04.320 just about compassion in general. 04:04.320 --> 04:06.000 It was really all explicitly 04:06.000 --> 04:08.120 about self-compassion. 04:08.120 --> 04:10.360 But I read it and kind of nervously, 04:10.360 --> 04:11.160 because I knew, 04:11.160 --> 04:11.560 you know, it's 04:11.560 --> 04:12.200 she she 04:12.200 --> 04:12.520 kind of 04:12.520 --> 04:13.680 she was coming at it 04:13.680 --> 04:16.040 from a more spiritual perspective. 04:16.040 --> 04:16.600 And I read it 04:16.600 --> 04:17.080 and I first of all, 04:17.080 --> 04:18.360 I was just blown away 04:18.360 --> 04:20.240 by its beauty and its insight. 04:20.240 --> 04:22.280 There's a reason it's still a bestseller, 04:22.280 --> 04:25.280 but at the end of it, I thought you 04:25.360 --> 04:26.760 I think I got it right. 04:26.760 --> 04:29.160 My self-compassion scale 04:29.160 --> 04:30.400 actually maps on to what 04:30.400 --> 04:32.400 Tara wrote about in this book. 04:32.400 --> 04:34.320 So, and then when I got to meet her 04:34.320 --> 04:37.000 and she's just been a wonderful guide 04:37.000 --> 04:39.280 and mentor to me. So welcome, Tara. 04:40.440 --> 04:41.040 So glad 04:41.040 --> 04:44.040 we're on the same page about this. 04:44.280 --> 04:44.480 Yeah, 04:44.480 --> 04:45.840 we've been on the same page, 04:45.840 --> 04:48.640 and we keep resonating and resonating. 04:48.640 --> 04:49.720 Yeah. 04:49.720 --> 04:52.720 Kind of separated at birth in some ways, 04:53.040 --> 04:53.280 but. 04:53.280 --> 04:55.160 So, can you please tell me 04:55.160 --> 04:57.240 a little bit about, you know, 04:57.240 --> 04:58.840 what got you so involved, 04:58.840 --> 05:00.960 especially in turning compassion inward 05:00.960 --> 05:01.440 because not 05:01.440 --> 05:02.680 everyone was doing it back then. 05:02.680 --> 05:04.320 You were really one of the first 05:04.320 --> 05:05.480 Buddhist scholars 05:05.480 --> 05:07.440 to really focus on a teacher, 05:07.440 --> 05:08.280 as I should say, 05:08.280 --> 05:09.600 to focus on the importance 05:09.600 --> 05:11.280 of turning compassion inward. 05:11.280 --> 05:13.000 So what made you think that 05:13.000 --> 05:16.000 that would be a good idea to do? 05:16.440 --> 05:18.320 It was just 05:18.320 --> 05:21.120 absolutely clear 05:21.120 --> 05:23.080 in my own personal experience, 05:23.080 --> 05:25.240 that was so much pain 05:25.240 --> 05:27.680 in rejecting parts of my own life. 05:27.680 --> 05:29.520 Just like it was so clear 05:29.520 --> 05:31.840 and there was pain in rejecting 05:31.840 --> 05:33.000 or judging others. 05:33.000 --> 05:36.000 So it was it was really about 05:36.280 --> 05:39.480 how do I open my heart to myself 05:39.480 --> 05:40.520 and to this world. 05:40.520 --> 05:44.160 And so it really kind of, 05:44.760 --> 05:47.880 broke open when I was in college, and 05:48.120 --> 05:49.080 I was 05:49.080 --> 05:50.080 I might you might, 05:50.080 --> 05:51.280 I might have shared this story with you, 05:51.280 --> 05:52.080 but I was on the track 05:52.080 --> 05:53.440 to go to law school 05:53.440 --> 05:56.280 as a very much leftist social activist. 05:56.280 --> 05:59.280 So I go to campaigns and weekend 05:59.280 --> 06:01.400 rallies, very ask them 06:01.400 --> 06:03.120 angry, contemptuous. 06:03.120 --> 06:06.040 And Tuesday night yoga meditation. 06:06.040 --> 06:08.640 You know, it was like this huge contrast. 06:08.640 --> 06:10.040 And I remember one time, 06:10.040 --> 06:13.680 just after one of the meditations, we 06:14.160 --> 06:17.400 I walked outside and, you know, my body 06:17.480 --> 06:18.920 and my mind were in the 06:18.920 --> 06:20.640 same place at the same time. 06:22.480 --> 06:23.160 And with that 06:23.160 --> 06:23.720 Christian, you know, 06:23.720 --> 06:25.120 there was just this sense 06:25.120 --> 06:27.200 of belonging to life. 06:27.200 --> 06:29.200 And it was so clear 06:29.200 --> 06:30.920 that everything I wanted in terms 06:30.920 --> 06:32.400 of as a social activist 06:32.400 --> 06:33.880 to transform this world 06:33.880 --> 06:36.880 wasn't going to come from that othering, 06:37.360 --> 06:39.240 making others an enemy. 06:39.240 --> 06:39.920 It was going to come 06:39.920 --> 06:42.920 from a place of compassion and belonging. 06:42.920 --> 06:44.640 And I'm sharing that right this moment 06:44.640 --> 06:46.800 because it feels so timely. 06:46.800 --> 06:49.120 But it wasn't only the US to them. 06:49.120 --> 06:49.800 It was also 06:49.800 --> 06:51.840 I was so chronically down on myself. 06:51.840 --> 06:54.800 You know, it was I was I was in therapy. 06:54.800 --> 06:55.680 I was working on it. 06:55.680 --> 06:56.520 But, 06:56.520 --> 06:56.760 you know, 06:56.760 --> 06:58.360 I was felt like I was 06:58.360 --> 07:00.040 falling short on all fronts. 07:00.040 --> 07:00.240 You know, 07:00.240 --> 07:02.600 I was at battle with my body 07:02.600 --> 07:05.040 and my weight and with in relationships. 07:05.040 --> 07:06.040 I was falling short 07:06.040 --> 07:07.600 and it went on and on. So 07:08.720 --> 07:11.160 yoga and meditation gave 07:11.160 --> 07:13.880 me a taste of more connection, 07:13.880 --> 07:15.080 you know, more at home. 07:15.080 --> 07:18.080 And it deepened when I really started 07:18.160 --> 07:19.200 letting the practice 07:19.200 --> 07:21.960 be one of compassion where I would. 07:21.960 --> 07:23.800 And it's mindfulness 07:23.800 --> 07:25.000 based compassion, really, 07:25.000 --> 07:27.640 where I would notice what was going on 07:27.640 --> 07:29.240 and on some deep level, 07:29.240 --> 07:31.680 feel tenderness to it. 07:31.680 --> 07:32.640 So that was it. 07:32.640 --> 07:34.520 I, you know, in my doctorate 07:34.520 --> 07:35.880 were doctoral work. 07:35.880 --> 07:37.000 I would be weaving 07:37.000 --> 07:40.120 psychotherapy and meditation, 07:40.120 --> 07:42.400 and seeing how that could help 07:42.400 --> 07:44.520 relieve, pain. 07:44.520 --> 07:47.120 And it just has gone on and gone deeper. 07:47.120 --> 07:49.840 And it feels very much about 07:49.840 --> 07:51.560 not just our own divides 07:51.560 --> 07:53.800 within ourselves and bringing kindness, 07:53.800 --> 07:56.760 but extending that really over 07:56.760 --> 07:57.400 and over again, 07:57.400 --> 08:00.000 extending it to our world. 08:00.000 --> 08:00.440 Yeah, 08:00.440 --> 08:01.760 the interconnectedness, 08:01.760 --> 08:03.360 the common humanity, 08:03.360 --> 08:04.200 which is when you wrote 08:04.200 --> 08:05.400 about that in the book, that's 08:05.400 --> 08:06.040 when I realize, I'm 08:06.040 --> 08:08.920 so glad we added that third component, 08:08.920 --> 08:09.880 because that's 08:09.880 --> 08:10.920 what you were talking about 08:10.920 --> 08:12.800 into being interconnectedness 08:13.920 --> 08:14.200 and how 08:14.200 --> 08:15.720 important that is, that connection 08:15.720 --> 08:17.520 between self and other. 08:17.520 --> 08:18.880 And then so did being a 08:18.880 --> 08:20.760 therapist also shape? 08:20.760 --> 08:21.480 You know, 08:21.480 --> 08:22.400 there's a kind of 08:22.400 --> 08:23.360 there was a whole field 08:23.360 --> 08:26.160 of kind of contemplative psychologists. 08:26.160 --> 08:28.880 So people who were both academics, 08:28.880 --> 08:30.720 sometimes therapists, but also, 08:30.720 --> 08:32.440 insight meditation teachers 08:32.440 --> 08:34.280 and I wasn't the latter, 08:34.280 --> 08:36.560 but you were all three and so did. 08:36.560 --> 08:38.320 How did being a therapist 08:38.320 --> 08:39.080 and actually working 08:39.080 --> 08:42.120 with people in pain inform your work 08:42.120 --> 08:44.120 as a as a spiritual teacher 08:44.120 --> 08:46.000 or as a meditation teacher? 08:46.000 --> 08:46.360 Yeah. 08:46.360 --> 08:46.720 It was 08:46.720 --> 08:48.400 it was actually wonderful 08:48.400 --> 08:49.640 to be weaving them 08:49.640 --> 08:52.640 because therapy stops short, 08:52.640 --> 08:55.880 because it does not necessarily envision 08:55.880 --> 08:57.640 and give the practices that help 08:57.640 --> 09:00.640 people keep waking themselves up. 09:01.000 --> 09:03.840 But those practices to wake up 09:03.840 --> 09:07.120 cannot sometimes aren't workable 09:07.120 --> 09:09.520 unless we have that 09:09.520 --> 09:11.760 relational field with another person 09:11.760 --> 09:14.400 where we're examining through the stories 09:14.400 --> 09:16.080 what's going on. 09:16.080 --> 09:16.640 And Buddhist 09:16.640 --> 09:17.640 very quickly say, well, 09:17.640 --> 09:18.840 it's not about the story. 09:18.840 --> 09:21.000 Come into the, you know, 09:21.000 --> 09:23.360 but the stories are access. 09:23.360 --> 09:23.880 You know, 09:23.880 --> 09:25.920 when we are caught in a story 09:25.920 --> 09:27.000 about what's wrong with 09:27.000 --> 09:28.280 ourselves or others, 09:29.640 --> 09:32.520 the roots of that story or feelings, 09:32.520 --> 09:34.920 and we can go then into the feelings 09:34.920 --> 09:36.680 and then work with them 09:36.680 --> 09:37.920 in a way that transforms. 09:37.920 --> 09:41.520 So I just feel like the, the two zones 09:41.520 --> 09:42.840 really come together 09:42.840 --> 09:44.720 very synergistically. 09:44.720 --> 09:45.080 Yeah. 09:45.080 --> 09:46.400 And that is one of the things 09:46.400 --> 09:48.000 I really love about your work. 09:48.000 --> 09:48.440 It is 09:48.440 --> 09:49.760 I love the fact that it's 09:49.760 --> 09:50.880 spiritual in the sense 09:50.880 --> 09:51.920 that at the end of the day, 09:51.920 --> 09:53.080 it is about waking up, 09:53.080 --> 09:55.080 discovering our true nature, 09:55.080 --> 09:58.160 but that instead of bypassing the pain 09:58.200 --> 09:59.600 and the feelings of insecurity 09:59.600 --> 10:01.320 and the story line, as you say, 10:01.320 --> 10:04.320 it's by diving into it and embracing it 10:04.440 --> 10:06.600 that we actually walk through that door. 10:06.600 --> 10:07.040 And that's 10:07.040 --> 10:08.920 what I think is really special 10:08.920 --> 10:10.920 about you and your work. 10:10.920 --> 10:13.160 I also want you to ask you 10:13.160 --> 10:14.360 a more specific question 10:14.360 --> 10:16.480 that I've always meant to ask you. 10:16.480 --> 10:20.160 So you are you are a mindfulness based 10:20.280 --> 10:21.960 compassion teacher, mindfulness, 10:21.960 --> 10:23.520 your insight meditation teacher. 10:23.520 --> 10:25.440 And you used to teach the rain model, 10:25.440 --> 10:25.920 which was, 10:25.920 --> 10:28.200 you know, in, in mindfulness 10:28.200 --> 10:29.040 teacher circles, 10:29.040 --> 10:31.080 which is used to be recognize 10:31.080 --> 10:32.880 except investigate 10:32.880 --> 10:34.200 and not identify 10:34.200 --> 10:34.680 very much 10:34.680 --> 10:35.560 focused on 10:35.560 --> 10:36.200 kind of letting 10:36.200 --> 10:38.640 go of the story of separate self. 10:38.640 --> 10:42.120 And I think in but in your 2013 book, 10:42.120 --> 10:42.840 True Refuge, 10:42.840 --> 10:44.880 I think you even had that model in there, 10:44.880 --> 10:46.360 but then you changed it. 10:46.360 --> 10:47.760 And I noticed that 10:47.760 --> 10:48.400 to change the 10:48.400 --> 10:51.400 and to nurture with self-compassion. 10:51.840 --> 10:54.720 And why did you make that change then 10:54.720 --> 10:56.040 what difference does it make, 10:56.040 --> 10:57.320 do you think, when you explicitly 10:57.320 --> 10:59.040 bring in the compassion 10:59.040 --> 11:01.280 as opposed to just non identification? 11:02.400 --> 11:03.560 Well, first of all, I love 11:03.560 --> 11:04.680 this question 11:04.680 --> 11:06.400 because it feels really important 11:06.400 --> 11:07.560 for understanding. 11:07.560 --> 11:09.000 And Michelle McDonnell, 11:09.000 --> 11:11.520 who I want to honor, was brought 11:11.520 --> 11:14.520 brought forward the first original rain 11:14.760 --> 11:16.320 and it work for people. 11:16.320 --> 11:17.800 Unless 11:17.800 --> 11:20.800 there were really strong sticky emotions. 11:21.240 --> 11:21.680 Yes. 11:21.680 --> 11:24.200 And so I had so many people coming to me 11:24.200 --> 11:25.160 and I actually was 11:25.160 --> 11:26.840 realizing the same thing, 11:26.840 --> 11:27.880 saying, you know, 11:27.880 --> 11:30.160 I can recognize something. 11:30.160 --> 11:31.720 And I can 11:31.720 --> 11:32.640 accept it, though 11:32.640 --> 11:33.880 I'm not sure I'm accepting 11:33.880 --> 11:35.920 and I can investigate it, 11:35.920 --> 11:37.920 but it's still there, you know, 11:37.920 --> 11:38.760 how do you non 11:38.760 --> 11:42.120 identify know how do you not identify. 11:42.960 --> 11:45.960 And what I found for myself and 11:46.080 --> 11:49.080 and it just feels so clear now 11:49.080 --> 11:51.960 I mean if we use a metaphor it would be 11:51.960 --> 11:52.560 and this is 11:52.560 --> 11:54.040 I think the most useful 11:54.040 --> 11:54.400 is like 11:54.400 --> 11:57.720 the two wings of the bird of awareness 11:57.720 --> 11:58.320 that we need 11:58.320 --> 12:00.160 both mindfulness, 12:00.160 --> 12:02.200 seeing clearly what's happening, 12:02.200 --> 12:03.920 and we need the heart 12:03.920 --> 12:05.920 fullness, the compassion. 12:05.920 --> 12:09.800 The two wings are absolutely inseparable. 12:09.800 --> 12:11.360 To fly, to be free. 12:12.720 --> 12:14.280 You think of like a sunlit sky. 12:14.280 --> 12:16.920 We need both the light and the warmth. 12:16.920 --> 12:19.800 And so this was missing the warmth. 12:19.800 --> 12:21.360 And we really have to have it. 12:21.360 --> 12:22.080 I mean, if, 12:22.080 --> 12:22.840 if I, 12:22.840 --> 12:24.240 I can speak for myself 12:24.240 --> 12:27.240 and just how many times, let's say 12:27.480 --> 12:28.080 I'd have, 12:28.080 --> 12:29.880 I feel distanced or angry 12:29.880 --> 12:31.800 from someone close 12:31.800 --> 12:33.200 and I could see it 12:33.200 --> 12:34.920 and I could say, okay, this is happening. 12:34.920 --> 12:35.520 But it wasn't 12:35.520 --> 12:38.560 until I said all I'm hurting, okay, I'll 12:39.720 --> 12:41.080 that there was that tenderness 12:41.080 --> 12:41.960 that actually who 12:41.960 --> 12:44.960 large my whole sense of being. 12:45.040 --> 12:48.000 So that's why I, I felt like 12:48.000 --> 12:49.160 there was a missing step 12:49.160 --> 12:50.360 in terms of 12:50.360 --> 12:52.200 really a fully awake presence. 12:52.200 --> 12:53.320 We were missing the warmth. 12:53.320 --> 12:55.560 And that's why I put a nurturing. 12:55.560 --> 12:56.960 But that's even though 12:56.960 --> 12:58.120 it's a last step, it's 12:58.120 --> 12:59.400 not the end of rain. 12:59.400 --> 13:00.560 And that's kind of what I wanted 13:00.560 --> 13:02.200 to mention here, because. 13:04.280 --> 13:06.080 Not identified or non 13:06.080 --> 13:07.640 identifications actually 13:07.640 --> 13:10.600 the gift of presence. 13:10.600 --> 13:11.680 It's not a doing. 13:11.680 --> 13:14.680 You don't do something to not identify 13:14.840 --> 13:17.040 after you've aroused 13:17.040 --> 13:20.640 a very full quality of presence, 13:21.000 --> 13:22.200 seeing clearly 13:22.200 --> 13:23.000 what's happening 13:23.000 --> 13:25.200 and holding with compassion. 13:25.200 --> 13:28.400 The gift is you realize, oh, 13:29.360 --> 13:31.360 it's like I'm no longer 13:31.360 --> 13:32.760 the wave of emotion. 13:32.760 --> 13:34.840 I'm the ocean that's being with the wave. 13:34.840 --> 13:37.240 It's a shift in identity. 13:37.240 --> 13:40.240 So I call that after the rain. 13:40.800 --> 13:41.120 Yeah. 13:41.120 --> 13:43.440 Just because think of a real rain. 13:43.440 --> 13:45.640 And what happens that the rain comes. 13:45.640 --> 13:46.520 It nourishes things. 13:46.520 --> 13:47.720 But it's after the rain 13:47.720 --> 13:50.040 that all the blossoming happens. 13:50.040 --> 13:52.400 So after bringing 13:52.400 --> 13:54.080 mindfulness and compassion 13:54.080 --> 13:58.320 to what's here, the experience is one, 13:58.560 --> 14:01.640 you might say, of being the ocean, that 14:01.640 --> 14:04.160 that fullness of presence, but also being 14:04.160 --> 14:05.520 no thing. 14:05.520 --> 14:05.840 You're not 14:05.840 --> 14:06.680 you're no longer 14:06.680 --> 14:09.440 identified exclusively with the waves. 14:09.440 --> 14:09.840 It's like 14:11.120 --> 14:11.680 I am no 14:11.680 --> 14:14.680 longer that angry, stuck shell. 14:14.680 --> 14:16.480 I am the awareness, 14:16.480 --> 14:19.040 the tenderness that includes it. 14:19.040 --> 14:22.000 So. 14:22.000 --> 14:23.840 That was the reason for the shift 14:23.840 --> 14:24.600 in the rain. 14:24.600 --> 14:27.120 It's that when we're stuck, 14:27.120 --> 14:30.120 we need to have compassion, 14:30.960 --> 14:31.160 you know? 14:31.160 --> 14:32.320 And I just realized 14:32.320 --> 14:34.480 Tara is as you were speaking. 14:34.480 --> 14:36.720 So I was thinking that more of bringing 14:36.720 --> 14:37.160 in the 14:37.160 --> 14:39.360 the kindness element of compassion, 14:39.360 --> 14:40.040 the warmth 14:40.040 --> 14:41.520 which makes a difference, 14:41.520 --> 14:44.280 but it also intrinsically brings 14:44.280 --> 14:45.600 in the common humanity, 14:45.600 --> 14:47.880 that sense of interconnectedness. 14:47.880 --> 14:48.560 So if you think about, 14:48.560 --> 14:50.360 recognize, accept, 14:50.360 --> 14:52.400 investigate or not identify 14:52.400 --> 14:53.320 this still kind of 14:53.320 --> 14:54.760 in the realm of mindfulness, 14:54.760 --> 14:57.240 which is the foundation 14:57.240 --> 14:58.680 but the nurturing, as you say, 14:58.680 --> 15:00.600 first, it brings in the warmth, 15:00.600 --> 15:01.440 the care, 15:01.440 --> 15:03.080 but then the I love that metaphor, 15:03.080 --> 15:04.080 the blossoming. 15:04.080 --> 15:05.960 That's the common humanity. 15:05.960 --> 15:07.360 That's when we recognize 15:07.360 --> 15:09.680 our inseparable illness 15:09.680 --> 15:10.880 from the rest of life 15:10.880 --> 15:13.880 and from other people and beings, 15:13.880 --> 15:15.240 and just being itself. 15:16.320 --> 15:17.200 So I think what you're 15:17.200 --> 15:18.680 saying, because in a way, 15:18.680 --> 15:20.800 the alchemy of compassion 15:20.800 --> 15:23.160 is to dissolve separation. Yes. 15:23.160 --> 15:24.120 And it doesn't just 15:24.120 --> 15:26.840 dissolve the separation within our own, 15:26.840 --> 15:27.680 you know, the 15:27.680 --> 15:29.160 it doesn't just reintegrate 15:29.160 --> 15:31.920 the pushed away parts of our own being. 15:31.920 --> 15:34.920 It reveals or belonging. 15:35.120 --> 15:35.400 Yeah. 15:35.400 --> 15:36.880 I've come to start thinking of it 15:36.880 --> 15:38.880 as when you give yourself compassion, 15:38.880 --> 15:40.920 you're moving from the self 15:40.920 --> 15:43.480 to the compassion. Right? 15:43.480 --> 15:45.360 So instead of identifying from the self 15:45.360 --> 15:47.160 that needs that hurts 15:47.160 --> 15:48.480 and that feels separateness 15:48.480 --> 15:49.600 feels inadequate, 15:49.600 --> 15:51.320 you move to the compassion 15:51.320 --> 15:52.720 which doesn't have much self in it. 15:52.720 --> 15:54.000 It's interconnected. 15:54.000 --> 15:57.120 I really love that because in a way, 15:58.440 --> 16:00.360 the very word self-compassion 16:00.360 --> 16:01.720 can be confusing, 16:01.720 --> 16:03.160 because what we're really having 16:03.160 --> 16:04.760 compassion for 16:04.760 --> 16:05.680 is the suffering 16:05.680 --> 16:08.000 that comes out of a limited identity 16:08.000 --> 16:10.320 with self. Exactly. 16:10.320 --> 16:12.920 So the very nature of that compassion 16:12.920 --> 16:16.000 dissolves that small, you know, 16:16.000 --> 16:19.200 tight self and reopens us to our natural, 16:20.200 --> 16:22.280 you know, belonging. 16:22.280 --> 16:24.000 And that's a great segue, 16:24.000 --> 16:25.920 because I did want to talk to you 16:25.920 --> 16:28.520 more about the spiritual dimensions 16:28.520 --> 16:29.520 of this practice. 16:29.520 --> 16:32.280 I was, you know, I think I, 16:32.280 --> 16:33.840 I see self-compassion 16:33.840 --> 16:35.400 is a spiritual practice. 16:35.400 --> 16:36.240 For a long time, 16:36.240 --> 16:38.720 I was kind of identified with my academic 16:38.720 --> 16:39.360 hat and felt 16:39.360 --> 16:40.760 I couldn't really talk about it. 16:40.760 --> 16:42.280 But that's really where my heart 16:42.280 --> 16:44.040 is, this, this awakening. 16:44.040 --> 16:46.280 So since you're allowed, 16:46.280 --> 16:46.720 do you mind 16:46.720 --> 16:48.760 talking about how self-compassion 16:48.760 --> 16:50.440 can be a pathway 16:50.440 --> 16:52.840 to awakening to our true nature, 16:52.840 --> 16:55.320 which is not separate, 16:55.320 --> 16:55.760 I love it 16:55.760 --> 16:58.400 the invitation to that environment. 16:58.400 --> 17:01.320 You're allowed to answer like, no, I am. 17:01.320 --> 17:02.760 I retired from 17:02.760 --> 17:04.680 and but yeah, you're really allowed, 17:04.680 --> 17:06.640 so go for it. 17:06.640 --> 17:07.280 Yeah. 17:07.280 --> 17:11.240 Well, so if we really understand 17:11.400 --> 17:14.800 compassion as going towards the suffering 17:15.520 --> 17:17.040 that comes from feeling suffering, 17:17.040 --> 17:18.320 it goes towards the suffering 17:18.320 --> 17:20.760 of the pain of separation. 17:20.760 --> 17:22.600 And again, I love that 17:22.600 --> 17:24.160 the metaphor of ocean waves 17:24.160 --> 17:25.240 that when we're 17:25.240 --> 17:27.200 suffering, we're caught in like this 17:27.200 --> 17:28.920 limited bunch of waves. 17:28.920 --> 17:29.760 This is me, 17:29.760 --> 17:32.760 you know, we have forgotten our oceans. 17:33.120 --> 17:36.560 So when we bring the power of awareness 17:36.560 --> 17:37.040 and heart, 17:37.040 --> 17:37.960 which is mindfulness, 17:37.960 --> 17:40.280 compassion to the waves, 17:40.280 --> 17:42.960 it it reopens us to the ocean, us, 17:42.960 --> 17:48.000 which is really formless, mysterious. 17:48.560 --> 17:50.040 It includes everything. 17:50.040 --> 17:51.680 And that's not 17:51.680 --> 17:54.680 to hitched to anything limiting. 17:54.720 --> 17:58.320 And the beauty is that the more full 17:58.320 --> 17:59.760 we bring 17:59.760 --> 18:02.760 a presence and tenderness to the waves, 18:03.280 --> 18:05.120 the more we become that 18:05.120 --> 18:06.720 fullness and tenderness. 18:06.720 --> 18:07.600 And it's what you said 18:07.600 --> 18:09.040 we become the compassion. 18:09.040 --> 18:10.680 We become. 18:10.680 --> 18:14.080 You know, we realize that this 18:15.080 --> 18:17.440 ocean, this is more true 18:17.440 --> 18:18.960 than any story 18:18.960 --> 18:20.320 we've ever told ourselves 18:20.320 --> 18:21.920 about ourselves. 18:21.920 --> 18:24.000 And here's the thing that feels 18:24.000 --> 18:27.000 important to me is that 18:27.240 --> 18:29.880 it takes practice 18:29.880 --> 18:32.280 getting to know that ocean. 18:32.280 --> 18:33.280 Yes. 18:33.280 --> 18:35.880 And what I notice happened 18:35.880 --> 18:38.400 is people will do a self-compassion 18:38.400 --> 18:40.280 or a compassion practice 18:40.280 --> 18:42.280 and feel freed up some, 18:42.280 --> 18:43.200 but then they'll move on 18:43.200 --> 18:45.200 to the next thing they're doing. 18:45.200 --> 18:47.960 And that's actually the moment, 18:47.960 --> 18:50.000 that moment of feeling freed up 18:50.000 --> 18:51.840 larger, tender, 18:51.840 --> 18:52.800 you know, 18:52.800 --> 18:55.800 to actually stay and get familiar. 18:56.320 --> 18:58.880 And this is really brain science 18:58.880 --> 19:01.880 that the more we get familiar with 19:02.240 --> 19:05.000 that truth of who we are, 19:05.000 --> 19:06.640 the more we come to trust it 19:06.640 --> 19:08.960 and not believe so quickly 19:08.960 --> 19:11.960 when we're more inside the small stories. 19:12.480 --> 19:13.040 So that's 19:13.040 --> 19:13.920 that's one piece 19:13.920 --> 19:16.920 that feels like really a natural way 19:16.920 --> 19:19.200 to wake up to the spirituality of this. 19:19.200 --> 19:20.640 And there's another, which is. 19:23.200 --> 19:24.560 Self-compassion 19:24.560 --> 19:28.040 naturally leads to including others. 19:28.680 --> 19:31.680 But we also have very deep conditioning 19:32.200 --> 19:33.480 to create self 19:33.480 --> 19:34.760 and other all these biases. 19:34.760 --> 19:36.080 We don't see 19:36.080 --> 19:38.840 that if we want to truly feel 19:38.840 --> 19:39.640 our belonging, 19:39.640 --> 19:42.680 we have to intentionally bring compassion 19:43.440 --> 19:46.600 to the others that we have pushed out. 19:46.600 --> 19:48.080 It's not going to happen 19:48.080 --> 19:49.520 just spontaneously. 19:49.520 --> 19:50.440 It takes intention 19:50.440 --> 19:52.080 because we're in a society 19:52.080 --> 19:54.720 that reinforces over and over 19:54.720 --> 19:56.400 that some other groups 19:56.400 --> 19:58.600 or individuals are bad. 19:58.600 --> 19:59.680 And so I feel like 19:59.680 --> 20:01.600 especially in these times, in Christian, 20:01.600 --> 20:04.360 I know you're with me on this. Yeah. 20:04.360 --> 20:06.760 We need to lean in. 20:06.760 --> 20:08.400 Really dedicated 20:08.400 --> 20:10.760 to going beyond othering. 20:10.760 --> 20:12.200 I mean, if there's anything that, like, 20:12.200 --> 20:14.520 I can feel my emotion here. 20:14.520 --> 20:17.640 Yeah, it's a suffering of the times 20:17.640 --> 20:20.040 that the chasm is so great 20:20.040 --> 20:22.560 and it leads to so much violence. 20:22.560 --> 20:25.640 So to go beyond means to 20:25.640 --> 20:26.880 actually dedicate 20:26.880 --> 20:29.880 when we can sense that we are in some way 20:30.240 --> 20:36.400 dehumanizing and by way of example, 20:37.280 --> 20:39.720 I've been doing meditation gatherings 20:39.720 --> 20:41.080 with both Israeli 20:41.080 --> 20:42.360 and Palestinian groups 20:42.360 --> 20:44.240 over the last year, and 20:44.240 --> 20:45.200 you're pretty much 20:46.520 --> 20:48.240 I was talking to one 20:48.240 --> 20:50.640 Israeli man, Assaf, 20:50.640 --> 20:52.080 who's become a friend, 20:52.080 --> 20:54.280 and he shared about 20:54.280 --> 20:56.040 being with an Arab friend 20:56.040 --> 20:57.120 some years back 20:57.120 --> 20:58.880 who was telling him about his suffering, 20:58.880 --> 20:59.800 what it was like to live 20:59.800 --> 21:02.400 as a Palestinian in Israel. 21:02.400 --> 21:03.560 And Assaf realized 21:03.560 --> 21:06.600 that his empathy wasn't really as strong 21:06.600 --> 21:09.600 as it would be with his Israeli friends, 21:09.960 --> 21:12.280 and he would hit him 21:12.280 --> 21:13.800 as if it was a disease in 21:13.800 --> 21:16.360 my soul, is what he said. 21:16.360 --> 21:18.160 I'm not like he hated himself, for 21:18.160 --> 21:20.440 it was just a disease. It like it was. 21:20.440 --> 21:22.480 It was a separation within his being. 21:22.480 --> 21:23.560 And he decided 21:23.560 --> 21:26.520 he dedicated to healing it. 21:26.520 --> 21:28.000 And that's what I'm talking about, 21:28.000 --> 21:29.200 that dedication, 21:29.200 --> 21:32.560 when we sense the other and, to heal it. 21:32.560 --> 21:34.600 Because this is the thing 21:34.600 --> 21:36.360 that if we don't, 21:36.360 --> 21:37.800 if we think, okay, I'm feeling 21:37.800 --> 21:38.760 compassion myself, 21:38.760 --> 21:39.880 I'm holding others I love. 21:39.880 --> 21:42.880 But we're excluding anyone, 21:43.040 --> 21:45.120 any group from our heart. 21:45.120 --> 21:47.440 We're actually not touching 21:47.440 --> 21:48.840 the truth of our belonging. 21:48.840 --> 21:50.400 We're not living in the truth of who 21:50.400 --> 21:51.480 we are. 21:51.480 --> 21:55.240 So, It's totally a spiritual path. 21:55.720 --> 21:57.960 This waking up our hearts to what's here. 21:57.960 --> 21:59.920 And it needs to be very intentional 21:59.920 --> 22:01.840 because there's so much conditioning. 22:03.560 --> 22:04.800 And so given where 22:04.800 --> 22:06.840 we are, I mean, so, you know, 22:06.840 --> 22:08.640 we both live in the United States. 22:08.640 --> 22:11.760 We have an election coming up Tuesday. 22:11.960 --> 22:12.600 And I also know 22:12.600 --> 22:15.400 you gave a great endorsement for my fear 22:15.400 --> 22:16.720 Self-compassion book, 22:16.720 --> 22:18.280 because this idea of speaking up, 22:18.280 --> 22:19.280 taking action, 22:19.280 --> 22:21.440 protecting against harm 22:21.440 --> 22:24.000 is also part of this process. 22:24.000 --> 22:25.800 How do you find that balance 22:25.800 --> 22:29.600 between taking a firm stand against what 22:29.600 --> 22:30.400 you know, 22:30.400 --> 22:31.640 a lot of people have fear 22:31.640 --> 22:33.720 is authoritarianism. 22:33.720 --> 22:34.560 I'm just horrific. 22:34.560 --> 22:36.760 Racism and othering. 22:36.760 --> 22:39.760 How do you take that strong stand 22:40.200 --> 22:42.520 and yet not following the othering? 22:42.520 --> 22:45.040 I mean, I'm curious about you personally, 22:45.040 --> 22:46.280 Tara, what are you doing 22:46.280 --> 22:48.120 to get to this time? 22:48.120 --> 22:50.760 And then maybe you can help us as well? 22:50.760 --> 22:52.200 I love the question. 22:52.200 --> 22:54.120 And as you know, 22:54.120 --> 22:55.560 because we're friends, 22:55.560 --> 22:57.120 I'm passionate about this. 22:57.120 --> 22:58.320 I feel like, 22:58.320 --> 22:59.960 the fact that most of us 22:59.960 --> 23:01.800 are afraid is intelligent. 23:03.240 --> 23:04.880 It's intelligent fear. 23:04.880 --> 23:06.560 It's there's a real threat 23:06.560 --> 23:09.240 that we're living with. 23:09.240 --> 23:12.200 And if we want to respond, 23:12.200 --> 23:15.200 it doesn't help to respond from fear. 23:15.600 --> 23:17.760 What helps is dissent. 23:17.760 --> 23:20.760 What is it I'm really caring about? 23:20.840 --> 23:22.120 And I keep asking myself 23:22.120 --> 23:24.720 that whether it's anger, judgment, fear 23:24.720 --> 23:25.680 underneath that there's 23:25.680 --> 23:27.480 something we care about. 23:27.480 --> 23:28.280 The more angry 23:28.280 --> 23:28.800 and divided 23:28.800 --> 23:29.880 we feel, the more it's 23:29.880 --> 23:32.160 because of something we care about. 23:32.160 --> 23:35.160 And what I really care about is 23:35.280 --> 23:38.400 the suffering that is in this world. 23:38.840 --> 23:40.080 The hatred, the anger. 23:40.080 --> 23:43.160 I really care about that I want to world. 23:43.160 --> 23:44.960 But we're living more from love. 23:44.960 --> 23:46.480 So if I can 23:46.480 --> 23:47.160 get in touch 23:47.160 --> 23:48.520 with what I care about Christian, 23:48.520 --> 23:49.480 I can act. 23:49.480 --> 23:51.520 I can act passionately, I can 23:51.520 --> 23:54.360 I can engage fully to protect 23:54.360 --> 23:57.320 what's at stake and yet 23:57.320 --> 23:59.200 be doing it from a place 23:59.200 --> 24:01.600 that's tender and caring both. 24:01.600 --> 24:03.200 You know, it's what Roshi Joan 24:03.200 --> 24:04.800 Halifax called the soft front 24:04.800 --> 24:05.880 and the strong back, 24:05.880 --> 24:07.400 which you call fierce compassion, 24:07.400 --> 24:08.280 which is 24:08.280 --> 24:09.960 I mean, I love your work 24:09.960 --> 24:11.120 on first compassion. 24:11.120 --> 24:13.160 We have to have it in these times. 24:14.520 --> 24:16.280 So what I do to 24:16.280 --> 24:17.240 help myself, 24:17.240 --> 24:18.320 just I'll just name 24:18.320 --> 24:20.040 a few things right now. 24:20.040 --> 24:21.560 One is that I act, 24:21.560 --> 24:24.080 you know, action absorbs anxiety. 24:24.080 --> 24:25.760 So I'm engaged. 24:25.760 --> 24:27.760 As much as I can be, 24:27.760 --> 24:31.000 as much as I can be, and 24:32.120 --> 24:34.440 I reflect a lot 24:34.440 --> 24:38.800 about how many others are caring 24:38.800 --> 24:41.800 because it really helps 24:42.120 --> 24:43.680 when I remember that. 24:43.680 --> 24:45.840 And we let's just take a pause 24:45.840 --> 24:47.800 right here. It's okay. Please. 24:47.800 --> 24:48.440 That's great. 24:48.440 --> 24:51.000 That was I just, you know, 24:51.000 --> 24:51.640 when you 24:51.640 --> 24:53.160 when all of you came on 24:53.160 --> 24:54.440 and I was looking through, 24:54.440 --> 24:55.760 looking at the little squares 24:55.760 --> 24:57.080 and really feeling you here 24:57.080 --> 25:00.080 and some people I recognize and 25:00.120 --> 25:02.560 I know we're here because we care. 25:02.560 --> 25:03.280 I mean, really, 25:03.280 --> 25:05.440 we're here because we care. 25:05.440 --> 25:07.280 So if you just take a moment, you can 25:07.280 --> 25:08.360 if you'd like to 25:08.360 --> 25:10.080 let your attention go inward. 25:12.200 --> 25:12.680 And just 25:12.680 --> 25:15.680 to remind yourself of Karen 25:16.440 --> 25:18.840 that you're here because 25:18.840 --> 25:20.000 it matters to you 25:20.000 --> 25:23.000 to wake up your heart and mind 25:23.560 --> 25:24.640 and to be in a world 25:24.640 --> 25:27.640 where there's more kindness, 25:28.080 --> 25:31.080 more justice, more freedom. 25:32.480 --> 25:34.240 And then just to remember all of us, 25:34.240 --> 25:36.160 you're Karen. 25:36.160 --> 25:38.240 It's really true. 25:38.240 --> 25:41.080 And how many, how many people 25:41.080 --> 25:44.160 around the world right now are Karen 25:44.440 --> 25:47.040 caring about the suffering of the earth 25:47.040 --> 25:48.480 and caring about the suffering 25:48.480 --> 25:50.040 of the animals on this earth, 25:50.040 --> 25:52.120 and caring about the injustices 25:52.120 --> 25:55.120 and the oppression, the violence, 25:55.680 --> 25:57.960 caring about what's going on 25:57.960 --> 25:59.040 in so many places 25:59.040 --> 26:01.440 that there's so much caring. 26:01.440 --> 26:03.320 And that in the past, 26:03.320 --> 26:05.120 just to realize that in the past, 26:05.120 --> 26:07.320 there's always been people 26:07.320 --> 26:10.320 who are trying to help the countless 26:10.320 --> 26:11.400 human kindnesses, 26:12.680 --> 26:14.640 and in the future, like our great great 26:14.640 --> 26:16.360 grandchildren, 26:16.360 --> 26:17.400 will want to be holding 26:17.400 --> 26:19.200 hands, wanting to be helping. 26:19.200 --> 26:20.160 And just such that 26:20.160 --> 26:21.800 that past, present, 26:21.800 --> 26:25.760 future, the amazing dimensionality 26:25.760 --> 26:28.760 of that field of caring that we belong to 26:29.680 --> 26:30.480 so that no matter 26:30.480 --> 26:32.040 what happens 26:32.040 --> 26:34.480 in the days and weeks to come 26:34.480 --> 26:36.880 back, can give a sense of refuge 26:36.880 --> 26:39.880 and possibility. 26:43.560 --> 26:45.000 We're in this together 26:45.000 --> 26:48.000 that really makes a difference. 26:48.880 --> 26:51.120 So yeah. 26:51.120 --> 26:51.640 Thank you. 26:51.640 --> 26:54.640 When you're doing that, I, 26:54.680 --> 26:56.880 thank you is very helpful. 26:56.880 --> 26:58.320 And I also had the thought of, 26:58.320 --> 26:58.560 you know, 26:58.560 --> 27:00.440 the people who are coming from fear. 27:00.440 --> 27:03.440 And I think those who are, 27:03.680 --> 27:05.640 you know, 27:05.640 --> 27:08.360 maybe disagree politically. 27:08.360 --> 27:09.600 It's coming from fear, 27:09.600 --> 27:10.840 but then it's a part of them 27:10.840 --> 27:12.720 that also wants to be safe. Right? 27:12.720 --> 27:13.360 So try, 27:13.360 --> 27:15.480 try and remember that for everyone. 27:15.480 --> 27:17.200 Maybe maybe underneath some layers. 27:17.200 --> 27:19.400 It's also coming from care. 27:19.400 --> 27:20.520 This may be the way it's, 27:20.520 --> 27:20.840 you know, 27:20.840 --> 27:21.960 and it's hard for me to do, 27:21.960 --> 27:22.600 I have to admit, 27:22.600 --> 27:24.840 because my, my default is 27:24.840 --> 27:27.360 just kind of like, I don't understand 27:28.400 --> 27:29.320 that that can. 27:29.320 --> 27:30.560 So what do you do about that? 27:30.560 --> 27:31.080 Like how do 27:31.080 --> 27:32.640 and how do you relate to people 27:32.640 --> 27:33.960 who have such a different viewpoint 27:33.960 --> 27:35.760 in terms of what's going to create safety 27:35.760 --> 27:37.240 and what's not? Yeah. 27:37.240 --> 27:38.680 So what you're bringing up is, 27:38.680 --> 27:41.520 is actually the next step of, of, 27:41.520 --> 27:43.200 of my own practice. 27:43.200 --> 27:46.200 And I know yours too, which is that 27:46.280 --> 27:47.040 when we talk about 27:47.040 --> 27:48.080 the people that are caring, 27:48.080 --> 27:49.680 we're not talking about some 27:49.680 --> 27:51.600 limited moral group of ethical, 27:51.600 --> 27:53.760 better people think, you know, 27:53.760 --> 27:56.120 really, it's all of us. Truly. 27:56.120 --> 27:57.400 It's all of us. 27:57.400 --> 28:00.400 Some are living in a more 28:00.480 --> 28:03.360 talked or tight information field. 28:03.360 --> 28:05.040 Some have conditioning that 28:05.040 --> 28:07.120 haven't had certain privileges. 28:07.120 --> 28:09.720 There's there's all sorts of context 28:09.720 --> 28:10.680 so that 28:10.680 --> 28:13.680 Karen gets it's harder for us to see it. 28:14.400 --> 28:17.280 People wear a mask that looks different, 28:17.280 --> 28:18.720 but we're not going to be able 28:18.720 --> 28:19.560 to heal our world. 28:19.560 --> 28:22.560 It doesn't matter what candidate wins 28:22.560 --> 28:25.480 unless we can see the value, 28:25.480 --> 28:28.480 the beauty, the goodness in everyone. 28:28.480 --> 28:29.040 Okay. 28:29.040 --> 28:31.400 And so what helps me with that, 28:31.400 --> 28:31.880 Christian, is 28:31.880 --> 28:34.400 I've been using the Tanglin meditation 28:34.400 --> 28:36.240 a lot more recently. 28:36.240 --> 28:38.560 Okay, that really makes a difference. 28:38.560 --> 28:41.560 If you want to learn, 28:41.640 --> 28:43.800 there's very a lot of versions of Tanglin 28:43.800 --> 28:44.200 out there. 28:44.200 --> 28:45.800 I'm speaking to all of us, 28:45.800 --> 28:48.680 the one I've done most recently, I just, 28:48.680 --> 28:52.200 it's available on my podcast and so on. 28:52.360 --> 28:53.400 There's, 28:53.400 --> 28:54.120 there's a version 28:54.120 --> 28:54.680 I put out that 28:54.680 --> 28:55.920 I find helpful, 28:55.920 --> 28:58.840 but more generally, it means 28:58.840 --> 29:00.040 first we start with 29:00.040 --> 29:02.160 exactly what we're feeling 29:02.160 --> 29:04.760 breathing in, letting it touch us, 29:04.760 --> 29:06.040 having the courage to 29:06.040 --> 29:08.120 to feel what we're feeling, 29:08.120 --> 29:10.080 but breathing out and sensing 29:10.080 --> 29:10.920 we're breathing it 29:10.920 --> 29:13.520 into that field of caring, that feel, 29:13.520 --> 29:15.240 that space of 29:15.240 --> 29:17.280 really the heart of the world. 29:17.280 --> 29:19.680 It's not a it's not a separate 29:19.680 --> 29:20.960 small self 29:20.960 --> 29:23.280 that's trying to hold the suffering. 29:23.280 --> 29:24.560 It's really being held 29:24.560 --> 29:25.640 by something larger. 29:25.640 --> 29:27.800 So we breathe in and be touched, 29:27.800 --> 29:28.480 breathe out, 29:28.480 --> 29:31.320 let it be held by that larger space. 29:31.320 --> 29:33.840 Then we widen the field. 29:33.840 --> 29:35.720 So we breathe in and out 29:35.720 --> 29:37.200 for others who are hurting. 29:38.160 --> 29:41.160 Yeah, that next step is essential. 29:41.400 --> 29:42.680 So many in 29:42.680 --> 29:44.320 especially in the United States 29:44.320 --> 29:47.320 where we're very focused on 29:48.320 --> 29:49.880 our self healing, 29:49.880 --> 29:52.600 we forget to extend the fuel, 29:52.600 --> 29:54.440 but we actually don't free ourselves 29:54.440 --> 29:56.000 unless we do. 29:56.000 --> 29:58.240 So it's just what you're saying to to 29:58.240 --> 29:59.400 bring to mind others 29:59.400 --> 30:01.960 that might be behaving in ways 30:01.960 --> 30:03.000 and having beliefs 30:03.000 --> 30:05.600 that are important to us. 30:05.600 --> 30:07.160 And I sometimes imagine 30:07.160 --> 30:10.080 what would I be feeling if I was acting 30:10.080 --> 30:13.080 that way, or believing that? 30:13.200 --> 30:16.960 What kind of a twist or pain or squeeze 30:17.880 --> 30:20.360 and just to breathe in and out for that 30:20.360 --> 30:22.200 being suffering to 30:22.200 --> 30:25.200 really helps to free the heart. 30:26.000 --> 30:27.360 Beautiful. 30:27.360 --> 30:29.440 Thank you. Tara. 30:29.440 --> 30:31.800 Okay, so, now it's time. 30:31.800 --> 30:32.960 I want to give a chance 30:32.960 --> 30:36.240 for the participants to ask, questions. 30:37.040 --> 30:40.000 Now, we have a lot of people almost 400. 30:40.000 --> 30:41.520 And so normally when we do these, 30:41.520 --> 30:43.440 we just have people raise their hand. 30:43.440 --> 30:45.160 But I'm not going to do that this time 30:45.160 --> 30:46.440 because there are just too many. 30:46.440 --> 30:48.480 So what we've done is we've added 30:48.480 --> 30:52.480 a Q&A feature to our zoom room. 30:52.960 --> 30:56.000 So you be, if you're in full screen, 30:56.000 --> 30:57.160 it should be on here. 30:57.160 --> 30:58.360 If you aren't in full screen, 30:58.360 --> 30:59.680 if you go under, the more 30:59.680 --> 31:01.200 there's a little box. 31:01.200 --> 31:04.160 It says Q&A with a question mark. 31:04.160 --> 31:05.760 And so if you open that, 31:05.760 --> 31:07.640 you can actually just, type 31:07.640 --> 31:10.640 in any questions that you have. 31:10.920 --> 31:12.080 Right. Okay. 31:12.080 --> 31:13.320 So again, 31:13.320 --> 31:16.000 so you just asked questions to the Q&A 31:16.000 --> 31:18.240 and we won't be able to get to, all 31:18.240 --> 31:19.560 of them. But you can also, 31:20.560 --> 31:23.160 see your sorry, you can also, 31:23.160 --> 31:27.800 put a thumbs up to other questions 31:27.800 --> 31:29.000 that you want to be answered 31:29.000 --> 31:31.680 so we can get a sense of 31:31.680 --> 31:32.640 what's here. 31:32.640 --> 31:33.880 I'm going to link to our 31:33.880 --> 31:35.880 to our, conversation. 31:35.880 --> 31:37.840 We just had it I think will help us. 31:37.840 --> 31:41.280 Sheila, if I'm saying it correctly, 31:41.280 --> 31:45.720 as he asks, is Donald Trump suffering? 31:46.040 --> 31:46.320 I think 31:46.320 --> 31:47.600 it's actually worth us all 31:47.600 --> 31:49.120 just kind of taking a moment 31:49.120 --> 31:50.280 to think about that. 31:50.280 --> 31:51.240 And so Shannon, 31:51.240 --> 31:52.720 if you can bring Sheila up. 31:52.720 --> 31:54.280 But go ahead, Tara, what do you 31:54.280 --> 31:55.120 what do you think? 31:55.120 --> 31:55.640 I mean, I, 31:55.640 --> 31:57.520 I think the answer is yes, but helping us 31:57.520 --> 32:00.520 think through what's going on 32:01.200 --> 32:01.640 here. 32:01.640 --> 32:02.760 Let me just ask Sheila. 32:02.760 --> 32:04.680 Are you sure you're unmuted right now? 32:04.680 --> 32:06.760 So I can just ask you, 32:06.760 --> 32:09.120 what I think, Can you hear me? 32:09.120 --> 32:11.360 Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for. 32:11.360 --> 32:12.600 I mean, it's a bit of a 32:12.600 --> 32:13.040 an out 32:13.040 --> 32:16.040 the question, and I'm completely new 32:16.440 --> 32:19.960 to mindfulness and and your work. 32:19.960 --> 32:21.120 Tara. 32:21.120 --> 32:24.800 But I was recommended your, 32:25.680 --> 32:28.680 work, by my therapist. 32:28.880 --> 32:31.440 But, you know, I'm just I'm 32:31.440 --> 32:33.160 it's it's fascinating. 32:33.160 --> 32:34.800 Everything that I'm hearing today 32:34.800 --> 32:36.320 is just this, 32:37.640 --> 32:38.720 about you 32:38.720 --> 32:41.720 said about suffering and being, 32:42.080 --> 32:44.640 compassionate 32:44.640 --> 32:47.640 to the suffering of. 32:48.920 --> 32:50.440 The of the whole 32:50.440 --> 32:51.960 the US everything 32:51.960 --> 32:54.120 collective collectively. 32:54.120 --> 32:56.600 And so just trying not to ask 32:56.600 --> 32:57.760 for a moment just to say, 32:57.760 --> 32:59.160 I guess the question is 32:59.160 --> 33:00.240 then extending 33:00.240 --> 33:03.120 is actually really a wonderful one. 33:03.120 --> 33:04.360 So I just want to 33:04.360 --> 33:07.360 just say something to it because, 33:07.360 --> 33:09.360 you know, is Donald Trump suffering? 33:09.360 --> 33:10.160 Are those 33:10.160 --> 33:13.440 that are behaving in ways that seem, 33:13.440 --> 33:16.520 vicious, contemptuous, hurtful? 33:16.520 --> 33:18.000 Are they suffering? 33:18.000 --> 33:20.600 And very brief metaphor 33:20.600 --> 33:21.720 that those that know me 33:21.720 --> 33:24.080 well have heard is that, 33:24.080 --> 33:27.360 if you imagine walking in the woods and 33:27.880 --> 33:29.680 you see a little dog 33:29.680 --> 33:30.840 and you go to pet it, 33:30.840 --> 33:31.880 and the dog 33:31.880 --> 33:34.720 lurches at you with its fangs bared, 33:34.720 --> 33:37.040 and you go from feeling friendly 33:37.040 --> 33:39.000 to being really angry at this, 33:39.000 --> 33:41.080 you know, aggressive behavior. 33:41.080 --> 33:42.880 But then you see the dog 33:42.880 --> 33:44.480 has its paw in a trap, 33:45.720 --> 33:46.360 and then you go, 33:46.360 --> 33:49.360 oh, okay, you might not get near it, 33:49.440 --> 33:52.760 you know, but but you realize, okay, 33:52.920 --> 33:54.520 there's something going on here 33:54.520 --> 33:57.520 that's making it act that way. 33:57.520 --> 34:01.880 My instincts are that people don't behave 34:02.760 --> 34:05.760 in hateful ways 34:05.960 --> 34:08.960 and ways, hurtful ways, 34:08.960 --> 34:10.920 unless they're hurting 34:10.920 --> 34:11.200 now. 34:11.200 --> 34:12.960 They may not be aware of hurting, 34:12.960 --> 34:13.640 and I have no way 34:13.640 --> 34:14.280 of knowing 34:14.280 --> 34:17.280 how their system is experiencing hurting. 34:17.480 --> 34:17.880 But it's 34:17.880 --> 34:20.880 coming from some disease inside it, 34:21.720 --> 34:23.000 and you can almost feel it 34:23.000 --> 34:24.560 if you sense the expression 34:24.560 --> 34:25.680 on the person's face 34:25.680 --> 34:26.920 and you imagine your face 34:26.920 --> 34:28.440 in that expression, 34:28.440 --> 34:31.120 what would be going on inside? 34:31.120 --> 34:33.600 And this is the last thing I'll say. 34:33.600 --> 34:35.040 I think it's really important 34:35.040 --> 34:37.000 that we imagine we 34:37.000 --> 34:38.560 we go inside 34:38.560 --> 34:39.480 what we sense 34:39.480 --> 34:40.560 might be going on 34:40.560 --> 34:43.240 because it helps to soften our hearts 34:43.240 --> 34:45.280 and we realize would not harm said, 34:45.280 --> 34:48.280 which is our enemy is not a man. 34:48.360 --> 34:49.200 It's not a human. 34:50.920 --> 34:51.800 The challenge 34:51.800 --> 34:54.840 is the forces of anger, 34:54.840 --> 34:57.240 greed, hatred, delusion 34:57.240 --> 34:58.720 that live through all of us. 34:58.720 --> 35:01.160 Some of us have the privilege or grace 35:01.160 --> 35:03.720 not to be as encumbered, 35:03.720 --> 35:06.200 but to be humble because it lives. 35:06.200 --> 35:07.480 They live through all of us, 35:07.480 --> 35:10.080 and our path is to with kindness 35:10.080 --> 35:11.120 and with clarity, 35:11.120 --> 35:13.320 wake up through the conditioning, 35:13.320 --> 35:14.200 but not to blame 35:14.200 --> 35:16.080 those that are more trapped. 35:16.080 --> 35:18.960 So thank you very much for your question. 35:18.960 --> 35:21.200 It really is a important 35:21.200 --> 35:22.400 one for all of us. 35:22.400 --> 35:23.360 Thank you for your answer. 35:23.360 --> 35:24.400 That's one. Thank you. 35:24.400 --> 35:25.680 I think it's just to say 35:25.680 --> 35:27.600 I recognize that. Absolutely. 35:27.600 --> 35:30.200 The, 35:30.200 --> 35:31.040 being angry 35:31.040 --> 35:34.040 because because of being hurt or 35:34.160 --> 35:35.800 being aggressive because of being hurt. 35:35.800 --> 35:38.640 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 35:38.640 --> 35:41.280 Okay. One question. 35:41.280 --> 35:43.200 A few different people asked a very, 35:43.200 --> 35:44.880 various version of this. 35:44.880 --> 35:47.400 And so one by Katie Kaufman, 35:47.400 --> 35:49.280 which is getting talking about, 35:49.280 --> 35:51.960 the sorrow. 35:51.960 --> 35:53.400 So I think many people when, 35:53.400 --> 35:54.600 when you said 35:54.600 --> 35:55.800 that little practice 35:55.800 --> 35:57.000 of getting in touch 35:57.000 --> 35:58.080 with the caring 35:58.080 --> 35:59.760 and the killing of others 35:59.760 --> 36:00.720 underneath, that's like 36:00.720 --> 36:03.560 just an ocean of grief and sorrow. 36:03.560 --> 36:06.880 So is that right? 36:06.880 --> 36:08.120 Katie, you want to talk? 36:08.120 --> 36:08.880 You'd like to try 36:08.880 --> 36:10.560 to talk about that sorrow. 36:10.560 --> 36:12.880 And how do we hold it? Perhaps. 36:12.880 --> 36:14.400 And just sort of that 36:14.400 --> 36:17.760 like that feeling that caring alone 36:17.760 --> 36:20.760 doesn't seem to be enough. 36:20.920 --> 36:23.120 Yeah. 36:24.400 --> 36:25.360 It's true. 36:25.360 --> 36:29.600 If caring doesn't have the energy of I. 36:29.600 --> 36:31.280 So I want to help. 36:31.280 --> 36:33.160 And we don't in some way act 36:33.160 --> 36:33.960 from the care, 36:33.960 --> 36:36.480 and then it ends up 36:36.480 --> 36:38.840 tying us up into knots in certain ways. 36:38.840 --> 36:41.720 So there needs to be action. 36:41.720 --> 36:44.080 And I'm also hearing some, 36:44.080 --> 36:44.560 some different, 36:44.560 --> 36:46.440 a different level of it also. 36:46.440 --> 36:47.120 Which is what 36:47.120 --> 36:47.960 what about the 36:47.960 --> 36:50.440 the hugeness of the sorrow. 36:50.440 --> 36:52.360 And 36:52.360 --> 36:55.760 my experience is that I have to grieve, 36:56.520 --> 36:59.320 when as things have unfolded, 36:59.320 --> 37:02.320 I regularly, if I can pause enough 37:03.040 --> 37:04.040 and it takes pausing, 37:04.040 --> 37:05.680 it takes a willingness 37:05.680 --> 37:08.040 to really feel feelings. 37:08.040 --> 37:09.200 I find underneath 37:09.200 --> 37:12.200 it all an ocean of sorrow 37:12.280 --> 37:15.280 for how much suffering there is. 37:15.320 --> 37:18.480 I weep and it's good. 37:18.520 --> 37:20.360 I feel like it loosens 37:20.360 --> 37:22.320 things that moisturizes things 37:22.320 --> 37:24.680 in a way that actually then move me 37:24.680 --> 37:25.600 towards action. 37:25.600 --> 37:28.600 Because embedded in grieving is love. 37:28.960 --> 37:31.280 There's something I love that I'm 37:31.280 --> 37:34.480 feeling threatened, hurting, loss. 37:34.480 --> 37:34.920 So 37:35.960 --> 37:36.640 I feel like 37:36.640 --> 37:39.640 we need to be willing to grieve together. 37:39.760 --> 37:40.880 But it's not alone. 37:40.880 --> 37:43.080 Because if it's alone, we feel 37:43.080 --> 37:46.200 a sense of, imposter ability. 37:47.040 --> 37:48.240 Like nothing can change. 37:48.240 --> 37:49.080 We need to grieve 37:49.080 --> 37:50.520 but feel it with each other. 37:50.520 --> 37:52.880 And then there's actually a sense of of 37:52.880 --> 37:55.880 great love that can inspire us. 37:57.120 --> 37:57.680 I love that. 37:57.680 --> 37:58.840 Thank you. 37:58.840 --> 38:00.080 Yeah. Thank you. Dr.. 38:00.080 --> 38:02.440 Appreciate your question. 38:02.440 --> 38:03.280 Thank you. Tara. 38:04.600 --> 38:06.840 So another question, there's several 38:06.840 --> 38:07.680 is but 38:07.680 --> 38:09.400 a few different variations on this. 38:09.400 --> 38:10.040 So I'm going to have, 38:10.040 --> 38:12.000 will Oliver come up? 38:12.000 --> 38:12.720 Who says that? 38:12.720 --> 38:14.160 Recently 38:14.160 --> 38:15.600 he witnessed some people 38:15.600 --> 38:17.320 making some racist comments 38:17.320 --> 38:17.840 and people 38:17.840 --> 38:19.360 kind of bypassed it by saying, 38:19.360 --> 38:21.720 let's remember, we're all basically good. 38:21.720 --> 38:22.720 And just to say, other 38:22.720 --> 38:25.720 variations of this have been things like, 38:25.840 --> 38:27.080 how do we draw boundaries? 38:27.080 --> 38:27.240 Like, 38:27.240 --> 38:29.160 how do we stand up in that situation? 38:29.160 --> 38:31.080 Well, I'll let you speak for yourself 38:31.080 --> 38:32.040 if you want to frame 38:32.040 --> 38:32.920 your question for Tara. 38:32.920 --> 38:33.760 I loved your question. 38:36.440 --> 38:38.280 I think, yeah. 38:38.280 --> 38:39.040 Thank you. 38:39.040 --> 38:40.040 It's an honor 38:40.040 --> 38:42.360 to be with both of you, teachers. 38:42.360 --> 38:44.520 And I'm graced 38:44.520 --> 38:47.400 by all of these terrific people. 38:47.400 --> 38:48.120 Yes. 38:48.120 --> 38:48.840 I'm I'm. 38:48.840 --> 38:51.840 I was in a, support, supportive space 38:52.160 --> 38:55.160 with wise folks, but 38:56.000 --> 38:57.560 it seemed the teaching 38:57.560 --> 38:59.400 that you share around, 38:59.400 --> 39:02.240 believing in our basic goodness 39:02.240 --> 39:04.160 was operationalized 39:04.160 --> 39:05.480 kind of as a bypass 39:05.480 --> 39:08.280 to owning some responsibility 39:08.280 --> 39:11.280 around power race, 39:12.120 --> 39:14.280 privilege and oppression. 39:14.280 --> 39:16.640 And so I thought, 39:16.640 --> 39:18.840 hopefully an opportunity 39:18.840 --> 39:20.720 will come to ask you, 39:20.720 --> 39:23.720 how you can speak to this 39:24.000 --> 39:27.000 and help folks differentiate between, 39:29.280 --> 39:32.480 The need to have difficult conversations 39:32.480 --> 39:33.720 and really 39:33.720 --> 39:36.720 dig into things at in, in those moments 39:36.720 --> 39:39.360 where we might be able to find grace 39:39.360 --> 39:41.640 and some healing. 39:41.640 --> 39:42.760 Yeah. 39:42.760 --> 39:43.320 Well, first 39:43.320 --> 39:44.680 I want to 39:44.680 --> 39:46.640 pause enough to honor you 39:46.640 --> 39:47.520 for bringing this 39:47.520 --> 39:50.520 because it feels crucial for these times. 39:51.280 --> 39:53.320 And when I talk about bridging divides, 39:53.320 --> 39:55.040 I'm not talking about, 39:55.040 --> 39:56.200 I look at somebody and go, 39:56.200 --> 39:58.800 oh, well, they're basically good 39:58.800 --> 40:01.320 and then move on. 40:01.320 --> 40:03.720 I need to first totally, 40:03.720 --> 40:06.720 honestly face reality of the moment, 40:07.200 --> 40:11.000 which is the way that our biases, 40:12.040 --> 40:15.040 absolutely create violence and suffering. 40:15.240 --> 40:19.200 And if I can't get in touch with how 40:19.200 --> 40:23.120 my privilege impacts you or others, 40:23.640 --> 40:25.880 and if I can't get in touch underneath 40:25.880 --> 40:27.000 that, that 40:27.000 --> 40:29.080 with a sense of true regret 40:29.080 --> 40:31.680 and wanting to make amends. 40:31.680 --> 40:32.560 Reparations. 40:32.560 --> 40:33.840 If I can't get in touch with that, 40:33.840 --> 40:36.240 I am by those. 40:36.240 --> 40:37.640 I am by passion. 40:37.640 --> 40:40.640 So I feel like this is a path of reality, 40:40.720 --> 40:44.160 that the only way to save us from that 40:44.160 --> 40:47.160 bypass is stand close with reality, 40:47.560 --> 40:48.560 which means I face 40:48.560 --> 40:50.120 where the divides are faced with. 40:50.120 --> 40:51.760 The divides are in my own heart, 40:51.760 --> 40:54.760 and how and how my beliefs and attitudes 40:55.200 --> 40:56.560 and divide me from others. 40:56.560 --> 40:58.080 And that hurts. 40:58.080 --> 41:00.200 Do we have to be willing to hurt? 41:00.200 --> 41:02.800 How I have to be uncomfortable? 41:02.800 --> 41:05.160 One look, I have to be comfortable 41:06.480 --> 41:07.520 for this to work out. 41:07.520 --> 41:08.920 I can't just very quickly 41:08.920 --> 41:10.840 jump to, oh, everybody's a good human. 41:10.840 --> 41:13.840 If I'm if I skip over my discomfort 41:14.240 --> 41:15.240 as a white person, 41:15.240 --> 41:16.960 as a privileged person, 41:16.960 --> 41:19.560 then I am actually locking myself 41:19.560 --> 41:21.840 into a very separate identity 41:21.840 --> 41:24.360 that will never be of service. 41:24.360 --> 41:26.000 So I hope that speaks a bit 41:26.000 --> 41:27.600 to what you're 41:27.600 --> 41:28.200 bringing up, 41:28.200 --> 41:31.200 because it's so important for us. 41:31.600 --> 41:33.280 It certainly does. 41:33.280 --> 41:36.720 The multi-layered impact of that is real. 41:36.720 --> 41:37.880 Also, 41:37.880 --> 41:40.560 being someone who is of global 41:40.560 --> 41:42.000 in majority 41:42.000 --> 41:46.920 and in, predominantly white space 41:46.920 --> 41:49.920 and being a witness to that. 41:50.760 --> 41:53.760 There is a level of. 41:54.800 --> 41:57.560 Othering that's hard to capture. 41:57.560 --> 41:59.520 And 41:59.520 --> 42:02.520 becoming a teacher under both of you. 42:03.120 --> 42:05.880 I'm challenged to figure out 42:05.880 --> 42:08.400 how to have that conversation 42:08.400 --> 42:09.760 and flip that. 42:09.760 --> 42:11.760 And so you've given me some language 42:11.760 --> 42:13.440 in some tools for 42:13.440 --> 42:14.760 for how to get through that 42:14.760 --> 42:15.840 bypass and say, 42:15.840 --> 42:17.560 hey, we're all still here. 42:17.560 --> 42:19.520 There's a reality. 42:19.520 --> 42:19.840 Thank you 42:19.840 --> 42:22.840 for that word that we might be missing. 42:23.600 --> 42:24.000 Yep. 42:24.000 --> 42:26.040 So thank you for that. 42:26.040 --> 42:26.520 Well, 42:26.520 --> 42:29.400 thank you for what you're bringing nice 42:29.400 --> 42:31.160 lessons to. Thank you. 42:32.920 --> 42:34.080 Okay, so we have 42:34.080 --> 42:37.440 a question by, shoot. 42:37.480 --> 42:39.800 Believe I'm saying that correctly. 42:39.800 --> 42:41.800 She got a lot of people that want this. 42:41.800 --> 42:44.960 Asked, about narcissism. 42:44.960 --> 42:46.120 There's also about 42:46.120 --> 42:47.400 how do we practice compassion 42:47.400 --> 42:49.400 for someone who traumatizes us. 42:49.400 --> 42:50.800 But I think the maybe the bit 42:50.800 --> 42:51.600 that's really drawing 42:51.600 --> 42:53.600 the interest is narcissism 42:53.600 --> 42:55.840 with people who are overtly narcissists. 42:55.840 --> 42:57.560 And I've had narcissists in my life, 42:57.560 --> 42:59.560 and there's some nice narcissists 42:59.560 --> 43:01.400 out there in the political world, 43:01.400 --> 43:02.400 and they're 43:02.400 --> 43:03.800 I won't put the words in your mouth, 43:03.800 --> 43:05.400 but how do we deal with that? 43:05.400 --> 43:06.400 Am I saying that right? 43:06.400 --> 43:08.520 Truthfully, you. 43:08.520 --> 43:11.520 Oh, so much for beautiful Shapiro. 43:11.520 --> 43:13.840 Lovely spiel. Yes. Yeah. 43:13.840 --> 43:15.120 So you first of all, 43:15.120 --> 43:16.200 thank you very much, Tyler 43:16.200 --> 43:17.920 and Kristin, for all your, your work. 43:17.920 --> 43:18.400 You've 43:18.400 --> 43:20.120 you've really just changed my life. 43:20.120 --> 43:20.840 But also thank you 43:20.840 --> 43:21.920 to everyone participating. 43:21.920 --> 43:23.640 It's it's quite an honor to be with you. 43:23.640 --> 43:25.840 Here's a great question from Withers. 43:25.840 --> 43:27.200 I really like that question. 43:27.200 --> 43:28.120 But my question is 43:28.120 --> 43:29.120 it's a bit of a tricky one, 43:29.120 --> 43:30.480 I guess, because 43:30.480 --> 43:31.640 I've sort of been dealing 43:31.640 --> 43:33.360 with this narcissism for most of my life, 43:33.360 --> 43:34.160 but I've only just 43:34.160 --> 43:36.160 in the last six months. 43:36.160 --> 43:37.680 I don't know what the word is accepted. 43:37.680 --> 43:39.400 I think probably. 43:39.400 --> 43:40.400 Well, you faced it 43:40.400 --> 43:43.040 and then realized I have to accept it. 43:43.040 --> 43:43.920 And through that, 43:43.920 --> 43:45.760 I think one of the first things I noticed 43:45.760 --> 43:47.280 was the need for compassion 43:47.280 --> 43:49.440 towards my father, because, 43:49.440 --> 43:51.080 as you said just now, Tara, 43:51.080 --> 43:53.600 like the idea of of his face. 43:53.600 --> 43:55.200 And if I try and emulate his face 43:55.200 --> 43:56.600 when he's in the middle of his rage, 43:57.720 --> 43:58.360 I just feel 43:58.360 --> 44:01.360 sorrow and sadness and pain and anger. 44:01.640 --> 44:02.880 It automatically 44:02.880 --> 44:04.920 brings up this compassion. 44:04.920 --> 44:06.240 But at the same time 44:06.240 --> 44:07.840 that all of that rage, 44:07.840 --> 44:09.720 all of that anger is directed at me 44:09.720 --> 44:12.240 and with the intention of hurting me. 44:12.240 --> 44:15.000 And then I start to lose that compassion. 44:15.000 --> 44:15.640 And it was interesting 44:15.640 --> 44:16.440 that someone was talking 44:16.440 --> 44:17.640 about Trump earlier, 44:17.640 --> 44:19.320 and you could also apply it to racism. 44:19.320 --> 44:20.240 It's very similar. 44:20.240 --> 44:22.200 It's called that compassion. 44:22.200 --> 44:22.440 And then 44:22.440 --> 44:23.200 once it's 44:23.200 --> 44:24.320 coming towards me where 44:24.320 --> 44:26.400 I'm actually I might be in danger. 44:26.400 --> 44:27.960 That's when I'm really struggling. 44:27.960 --> 44:29.520 I can feel it slipping. 44:29.520 --> 44:31.600 I really feel like immediately 44:31.600 --> 44:33.840 then I really and it's a bit of a battle. 44:33.840 --> 44:35.440 And I wondered, how can we 44:35.440 --> 44:36.960 how can we learn to make that practice 44:36.960 --> 44:37.800 a bit easier, 44:37.800 --> 44:38.600 hold that compassion, 44:38.600 --> 44:39.720 maybe for a bit longer? 44:41.200 --> 44:43.080 Yeah, it's a great question. 44:43.080 --> 44:43.800 And I think it's 44:43.800 --> 44:46.800 actually one that every single one of us 44:46.800 --> 44:48.520 that is on a path of trying 44:48.520 --> 44:50.560 to hold others in our hearts 44:50.560 --> 44:51.800 is encountering 44:51.800 --> 44:55.280 because the mistake we make 44:55.440 --> 45:00.320 is that we don't come back to holding 45:00.360 --> 45:01.920 tenderly the place in us 45:01.920 --> 45:04.320 that's having a hard time, 45:04.320 --> 45:06.520 and you have to keep coming back to that 45:06.520 --> 45:07.760 over and over again 45:07.760 --> 45:08.920 to have the resilience 45:08.920 --> 45:10.640 to be open to another. 45:10.640 --> 45:12.120 So if it's 45:12.120 --> 45:14.000 your father, a narcissist, 45:14.000 --> 45:16.240 and you're feeling his pain, 45:16.240 --> 45:18.600 but you haven't resourced your self 45:18.600 --> 45:19.560 on what it feels like 45:19.560 --> 45:22.560 to be on the other end of anger, 45:22.920 --> 45:24.960 which is like our human nervous 45:24.960 --> 45:26.040 system is designed 45:26.040 --> 45:29.080 to feel really threatened and you're so 45:29.080 --> 45:29.960 you need to take care 45:29.960 --> 45:32.160 of your own humanity, 45:32.160 --> 45:33.600 and that means you're going to have 45:33.600 --> 45:35.040 to come back again and again. 45:36.280 --> 45:38.720 Boy, am I saying your name right away. 45:38.720 --> 45:41.720 To be used to be way I love it. 45:41.880 --> 45:42.880 Thank you. 45:42.880 --> 45:45.000 Yeah. Come back again and again. 45:45.000 --> 45:47.000 Any time you feel a wavering with him, 45:47.000 --> 45:48.040 come back and sense 45:48.040 --> 45:49.200 what's hard right now. 45:49.200 --> 45:52.200 What hurts, what's painful, what's scary. 45:52.560 --> 45:55.240 Okay, breathe in and hold yourself 45:55.240 --> 45:56.440 really tenderly. 45:56.440 --> 45:58.440 Until you feel in that hold 45:58.440 --> 46:00.840 and that possibility 46:00.840 --> 46:02.800 of being able to reopen. 46:02.800 --> 46:05.800 And then the other piece, which Christian 46:06.880 --> 46:08.360 has modeled and talked about 46:08.360 --> 46:09.600 so much in her 46:09.600 --> 46:12.600 writing is the fierce compassion 46:12.680 --> 46:14.520 right where you 46:14.520 --> 46:15.720 you have to have the boundary. 46:15.720 --> 46:17.040 It's not helping anybody. 46:17.040 --> 46:18.360 If you're not of the boundaries 46:18.360 --> 46:19.400 of how much 46:19.400 --> 46:22.400 time, energy, what you, you know, 46:22.520 --> 46:23.880 be strong in it. 46:23.880 --> 46:25.400 And this is the same thing 46:25.400 --> 46:29.440 with Will Wells question that if we don't 46:29.440 --> 46:32.560 have that strong back, that that clarity 46:32.760 --> 46:33.800 saying, hey, 46:33.800 --> 46:35.280 there's something here off, 46:35.280 --> 46:37.320 there's a power differential, 46:37.320 --> 46:39.200 you know, this is asymmetrical. 46:39.200 --> 46:40.400 If we're talking about, 46:40.400 --> 46:42.920 Israel and Palestine, 46:43.920 --> 46:45.720 if we don't have that strong back 46:45.720 --> 46:47.160 that sees that clearly, 46:47.160 --> 46:48.120 then our compassion 46:48.120 --> 46:50.760 actually can be a bypass, you know? 46:50.760 --> 46:52.800 Yeah. 46:52.800 --> 46:53.760 Yeah. Thank you that. 46:53.760 --> 46:55.160 But yeah, that makes a lot of sense. 46:55.160 --> 46:56.480 And what's quite interesting 46:56.480 --> 46:58.920 is often like I see my that I cycle. 46:58.920 --> 47:00.320 So I cycle home 47:00.320 --> 47:02.360 and I use that cycle home to somehow 47:02.360 --> 47:04.720 try and bring back up compassion. 47:04.720 --> 47:06.360 And I often just use mindfulness. 47:06.360 --> 47:07.200 But what you just said, 47:07.200 --> 47:08.360 I could really 47:08.360 --> 47:10.400 practice in that moment of saying, right, 47:10.400 --> 47:11.360 where am I? 47:11.360 --> 47:12.760 How am I feeling, where my hurts? 47:12.760 --> 47:13.680 So that's really helpful. 47:13.680 --> 47:15.040 Thank you very much for that. 47:15.040 --> 47:17.560 Oh good. Yes. 47:17.560 --> 47:19.000 I'm actually just going to added 47:19.000 --> 47:20.480 a little tidbit of what I've found. 47:20.480 --> 47:21.480 It's on in my life 47:21.480 --> 47:22.920 who's a really strong narcissist. 47:22.920 --> 47:23.600 This is my 47:23.600 --> 47:25.520 is my self-compassion practice. 47:25.520 --> 47:28.520 It's called the gray rock technique. 47:28.800 --> 47:31.080 It's because the narcissist is often 47:31.080 --> 47:31.760 I mean, again, 47:31.760 --> 47:32.640 I don't want to other them, 47:32.640 --> 47:34.880 but often that the pattern comes 47:34.880 --> 47:37.600 when they're trying to get some energy 47:37.600 --> 47:38.080 as a way of 47:38.080 --> 47:39.400 I suppose, healing their cells 47:39.400 --> 47:40.440 in their own wound. 47:40.440 --> 47:43.160 So I would just explicitly tried it. 47:43.160 --> 47:44.080 What can I say 47:44.080 --> 47:47.080 that would be as bland and boring? 47:47.080 --> 47:49.880 Totally not true as a gray rock. 47:49.880 --> 47:50.880 And I did it. 47:50.880 --> 47:52.680 But out of self-compassion, 47:52.680 --> 47:54.160 it wasn't like I was capitulating. 47:54.160 --> 47:54.720 This was the way 47:54.720 --> 47:56.040 I was drawing my boundaries. 47:56.040 --> 47:56.960 I would just, like, 47:56.960 --> 47:58.560 pretend to be gray work. 47:58.560 --> 47:59.440 And it really worked 47:59.440 --> 48:00.600 because the narcissist 48:00.600 --> 48:02.520 would go on to someone else. 48:02.520 --> 48:03.480 So that's just a really. 48:03.480 --> 48:04.960 Sometimes self-compassion 48:04.960 --> 48:06.480 is as simple as finding 48:06.480 --> 48:07.920 little techniques. 48:07.920 --> 48:08.960 It may actually work 48:08.960 --> 48:11.720 and help you function more effectively. 48:11.720 --> 48:13.120 And when you, you know, with your father, 48:13.120 --> 48:15.840 you can't do much about it. So anyway. 48:19.040 --> 48:20.040 Okay, so, 48:20.040 --> 48:23.280 yeah, we have time for, a couple more. 48:23.640 --> 48:26.240 Cynthia Pranic asks a question 48:26.240 --> 48:27.400 which a couple people, 48:27.400 --> 48:29.040 also want to answer 48:29.040 --> 48:31.240 about the idea of common humanity. 48:31.240 --> 48:32.640 And this comes up 48:32.640 --> 48:34.320 as one of the most common questions 48:34.320 --> 48:35.680 that comes up for me. 48:35.680 --> 48:37.400 Common humanity is confusing 48:37.400 --> 48:38.520 because, you know, 48:38.520 --> 48:40.360 some people do suffer more than others. 48:40.360 --> 48:41.320 And some people, 48:41.320 --> 48:42.840 especially maybe privileged people 48:42.840 --> 48:44.160 who aren't living in war zones 48:44.160 --> 48:45.040 with a lot of, 48:45.040 --> 48:48.040 you know, with good functional parents, 48:48.240 --> 48:49.680 maybe they aren't suffering as much. 48:49.680 --> 48:50.200 So, Cynthia, 48:50.200 --> 48:51.200 do you want to add anything 48:51.200 --> 48:53.040 to that for Tara or. 48:53.040 --> 48:53.520 Actually, 48:53.520 --> 48:54.840 you said it better than anything 48:54.840 --> 48:55.880 I could have said. 48:55.880 --> 48:57.840 I have been listening to you, 48:57.840 --> 48:59.240 and I've read Tara's books. 48:59.240 --> 49:01.080 I'm honored to be here. 49:01.080 --> 49:03.000 Just like everybody. 49:03.000 --> 49:04.680 I really struggle with that. 49:04.680 --> 49:06.240 So I've been trying to 49:06.240 --> 49:07.920 practice the self-compassion. 49:09.600 --> 49:10.360 But when I come to the 49:10.360 --> 49:12.000 common humanity, I'm like, 49:12.000 --> 49:15.000 this is B.S., I know so many people who. 49:17.880 --> 49:18.920 It's not happening to them. 49:18.920 --> 49:19.640 And I know a lot of 49:19.640 --> 49:21.480 people are way worse off. 49:21.480 --> 49:22.920 I try to remind myself 49:22.920 --> 49:23.520 about people 49:23.520 --> 49:25.080 in Palestine and Israel 49:25.080 --> 49:26.280 and people in Africa, 49:26.280 --> 49:29.280 and children who are dying. 49:30.120 --> 49:32.680 But I'm human, so I struggle. 49:32.680 --> 49:35.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. 49:35.520 --> 49:37.800 For me, common humanity 49:37.800 --> 49:39.640 doesn't mean, 49:39.640 --> 49:41.800 the same and not different. 49:41.800 --> 49:43.560 Yeah. 49:43.560 --> 49:45.160 There's real huge differences 49:45.160 --> 49:48.000 and suffering. I mean, we so many. 49:48.000 --> 49:50.720 You just named it common humanity. 49:50.720 --> 49:52.560 Even I have a problem with just because. 49:52.560 --> 49:54.600 What about the animals 49:54.600 --> 49:56.320 that are not human? 49:56.320 --> 49:58.440 I mean, I, you know, I, 49:58.440 --> 49:59.320 I'm so 49:59.320 --> 50:00.440 I get so choked up 50:00.440 --> 50:02.000 at the billions of animals 50:02.000 --> 50:05.000 that are tortured every year for food. 50:05.040 --> 50:08.120 So it's not that all suffering is equal. 50:09.200 --> 50:09.880 For me, 50:09.880 --> 50:13.800 the common ground is something 50:13.800 --> 50:17.000 very different and deeper, which is that 50:17.600 --> 50:21.240 we all arise from the same source 50:21.560 --> 50:24.560 of awareness, of tenderness. 50:24.720 --> 50:25.080 It's, 50:25.080 --> 50:27.240 you know, there's a formless source, 50:27.240 --> 50:30.560 whether you call it a spirit or God or, 50:31.680 --> 50:33.680 you know, Buddha nature or whatever 50:33.680 --> 50:34.920 word, it doesn't matter. 50:34.920 --> 50:37.920 There's some essence, 50:38.160 --> 50:38.400 you know, 50:38.400 --> 50:39.840 before we distinguish 50:39.840 --> 50:41.400 and become separate, 50:41.400 --> 50:44.040 that if we really deepen our attention, 50:44.040 --> 50:45.600 we can sense that 50:45.600 --> 50:48.600 behind the eyes that, calling you 50:48.920 --> 50:50.000 and behind these eyes 50:50.000 --> 50:50.760 and Christians eyes, 50:50.760 --> 50:53.760 there's an awareness, a sentient, 50:54.000 --> 50:56.760 a kind of tender sensitivity 50:56.760 --> 50:59.720 and intelligence that's formless 50:59.720 --> 51:01.200 and it's coming through all of us. 51:01.200 --> 51:04.000 And it's also coming through the trees 51:04.000 --> 51:05.640 and through my dog that's over here. 51:05.640 --> 51:08.240 There's just some common, 51:08.240 --> 51:11.240 beautiful, mysterious, formless essence. 51:11.440 --> 51:12.960 And if we can remember that, 51:12.960 --> 51:14.520 we can hold the differences 51:14.520 --> 51:16.960 with a tremendous amount of care 51:16.960 --> 51:19.080 and respond wisely. 51:19.080 --> 51:21.640 So just to widen that, 51:21.640 --> 51:23.040 that definition, 51:23.040 --> 51:24.120 when you think about it, 51:24.120 --> 51:26.400 because it can be it's reality. 51:26.400 --> 51:27.640 It's a larger reality 51:27.640 --> 51:29.600 that we can tap into that 51:29.600 --> 51:31.560 does that resonate for you? 51:31.560 --> 51:32.640 I'm completely, 51:33.600 --> 51:35.640 completely thank you for that. 51:35.640 --> 51:37.160 And so, Cynthia, 51:37.160 --> 51:38.400 maybe I'll just let you know. 51:38.400 --> 51:39.720 I know Tara knows this. 51:39.720 --> 51:40.920 So originally 51:40.920 --> 51:41.880 I wanted to call it 51:41.880 --> 51:42.960 into being 51:42.960 --> 51:43.720 because you remember 51:43.720 --> 51:45.400 I learned about self-compassion 51:45.400 --> 51:47.280 while studying in the tradition of 51:47.280 --> 51:48.840 not not interviewing 51:48.840 --> 51:51.320 is exactly what Tara is talking about. 51:51.320 --> 51:52.600 The idea that we 51:52.600 --> 51:55.200 we seem like we're separate individuals. 51:55.200 --> 51:56.760 But the reality is we're 51:56.760 --> 51:58.680 first of all, we're all this awareness. 51:58.680 --> 52:00.000 The awareness is coming through. 52:00.000 --> 52:02.280 We're all the ocean expressing it 52:02.280 --> 52:03.960 in various ways. 52:03.960 --> 52:05.200 But also really important 52:05.200 --> 52:07.760 in the context of compassion 52:07.760 --> 52:10.920 is that so many causes and conditions 52:10.920 --> 52:13.920 occur to to shape our suffering. 52:14.000 --> 52:15.960 And so sometimes they're big tidal waves, 52:15.960 --> 52:17.360 sometimes they're little ripples. 52:17.360 --> 52:19.560 But what's was common 52:19.560 --> 52:20.720 is the fact that, 52:20.720 --> 52:21.280 you know, how 52:21.280 --> 52:21.840 we think, 52:21.840 --> 52:22.920 how we act, how we see, 52:22.920 --> 52:26.120 even how we perceive is totally shaped 52:26.120 --> 52:27.960 by things that we normally wouldn't 52:27.960 --> 52:29.680 consider us. 52:29.680 --> 52:30.920 And that's why it's, 52:30.920 --> 52:31.120 you know, 52:31.120 --> 52:32.160 it's a way of pointing 52:32.160 --> 52:34.160 to something larger than ourself. 52:34.160 --> 52:35.560 So if the word common, 52:35.560 --> 52:37.920 I use common humanity because it's just 52:37.920 --> 52:39.000 it's the vernacular. 52:39.000 --> 52:41.040 I knew would get more access. 52:41.040 --> 52:42.480 An entire being 52:42.480 --> 52:44.480 doesn't have to be humans. 52:44.480 --> 52:46.960 You know, another way to think about it 52:46.960 --> 52:48.560 is that this is a human right. 52:48.560 --> 52:49.440 But then you could extend 52:49.440 --> 52:51.440 that to a life of another. 52:51.440 --> 52:52.440 So in other words, it's 52:52.440 --> 52:55.440 not, it's not that individual 52:55.640 --> 52:56.560 compassion is like 52:56.560 --> 52:58.400 an individual privilege. 52:58.400 --> 53:00.200 It comes with a very humanity. 53:00.200 --> 53:01.200 And ultimately 53:01.200 --> 53:02.520 it comes with our very being, 53:02.520 --> 53:04.680 whether or not you are in human form. 53:04.680 --> 53:06.600 So if you want to know the big picture, 53:06.600 --> 53:08.160 that's what I was pointing to. 53:08.160 --> 53:09.960 And so if the words don't work 53:09.960 --> 53:12.160 for common humanity, dump them. 53:12.160 --> 53:13.480 Call it connectedness. 53:13.480 --> 53:14.520 It's probably actually maybe 53:14.520 --> 53:15.480 a little more effective. 53:16.680 --> 53:17.880 Not nothing special 53:17.880 --> 53:18.840 about any of the word. 53:18.840 --> 53:20.400 I think it was my 53:20.400 --> 53:22.680 my own limited understanding 53:22.680 --> 53:24.040 of what that meant. 53:24.040 --> 53:26.800 So but it is very, very common. 53:26.800 --> 53:27.520 It's a it's 53:27.520 --> 53:28.080 actually though, 53:28.080 --> 53:29.520 the thing that people struggle 53:29.520 --> 53:30.160 with the most, 53:30.160 --> 53:32.680 probably because the word is not actually 53:32.680 --> 53:33.600 that precise. 53:33.600 --> 53:36.600 It's heuristic, but it's this. 53:36.600 --> 53:39.600 So you aren't alone. 53:39.760 --> 53:41.360 You 53:41.360 --> 53:42.240 okay? 53:42.240 --> 53:43.080 Well, 53:43.080 --> 53:46.280 I would love to keep, taking questions, 53:46.280 --> 53:50.160 but sadly, we are coming to an end. 53:50.160 --> 53:53.400 And I wanted to give you a chance. 53:53.400 --> 53:53.960 Tara, 53:53.960 --> 53:54.480 is there anything 53:54.480 --> 53:56.480 you'd like to let us know about things 53:56.480 --> 53:57.720 that are inspiring you, 53:57.720 --> 53:58.240 or that you'd like 53:58.240 --> 54:00.120 to let people know about any, 54:00.120 --> 54:02.760 maybe projects or passions 54:02.760 --> 54:04.320 that you have that you want to share? 54:05.360 --> 54:06.360 Courses? 54:06.360 --> 54:06.960 Sure. 54:06.960 --> 54:09.840 I mean, there are a few things I'm up to. 54:09.840 --> 54:11.600 The teacher training, 54:11.600 --> 54:12.480 you know, if 54:12.480 --> 54:15.480 if you want to really deepen awakening, 54:15.520 --> 54:16.400 teach about it. 54:16.400 --> 54:17.680 And it doesn't have to be 54:17.680 --> 54:18.480 formal teaching. 54:18.480 --> 54:20.640 Share with friends and others. 54:20.640 --> 54:22.480 So we do have this teacher training. 54:22.480 --> 54:23.240 You can find out 54:23.240 --> 54:25.040 more on my hometown's Tru 54:25.040 --> 54:25.480 or I should 54:25.480 --> 54:26.200 they just Google 54:26.200 --> 54:27.920 sounds true Tara Brach 54:27.920 --> 54:30.000 or you can just go to my home page. 54:30.000 --> 54:32.760 Okay, yeah, sounds true, but just Tara 54:32.760 --> 54:33.640 Brach teacher training, 54:33.640 --> 54:34.160 I find it 54:34.160 --> 54:34.680 or maybe, 54:34.680 --> 54:35.280 Shannon 54:35.280 --> 54:38.120 could put the link in the in the chat. 54:38.120 --> 54:38.560 Sure. 54:38.560 --> 54:40.600 And they're going to say temporarily, 54:40.600 --> 54:41.920 registration is closed, 54:41.920 --> 54:43.160 but there will be a chance 54:43.160 --> 54:44.440 there will be a week 54:44.440 --> 54:45.120 this fall 54:45.120 --> 54:45.800 that that 54:45.800 --> 54:47.920 they will be taking in some new people. 54:47.920 --> 54:49.440 They have to process what they have 54:49.440 --> 54:50.240 right now. 54:50.240 --> 54:52.280 We do start up our next cohort 54:52.280 --> 54:53.360 next February. 54:53.360 --> 54:55.320 So it's coming right up. 54:55.320 --> 54:58.200 It's a two year program, very powerful, 54:58.200 --> 54:59.480 but more, 54:59.480 --> 54:59.760 you know, 54:59.760 --> 55:03.160 I'll be announcing more, I'm doing more 55:03.720 --> 55:04.840 a couple of in-person 55:04.840 --> 55:08.680 and online live online gatherings a year 55:08.680 --> 55:09.360 a long way 55:09.360 --> 55:12.520 that 2025 can be a time of living 55:12.520 --> 55:13.360 from an away card, 55:13.360 --> 55:13.840 because we're going to 55:13.840 --> 55:15.000 so need it, and we're going to 55:15.000 --> 55:17.920 so need to be doing this together. 55:17.920 --> 55:18.840 You know that 55:18.840 --> 55:21.280 that hand says that in these days, 55:21.280 --> 55:22.760 the Buddha is the sangha. 55:22.760 --> 55:24.480 It's really experience 55:24.480 --> 55:26.760 on our connection with each other. 55:26.760 --> 55:28.280 And then that spirit Christian, 55:28.280 --> 55:28.600 I want to say, 55:28.600 --> 55:29.280 I really love 55:29.280 --> 55:31.280 what you're doing to build community, 55:31.280 --> 55:32.120 I really do. 55:32.120 --> 55:34.480 I think we need that. We need a, 55:35.520 --> 55:36.560 a sangha. 55:36.560 --> 55:36.920 We need 55:36.920 --> 55:37.480 people that 55:37.480 --> 55:40.480 are like minded to help remind us so, 55:40.840 --> 55:41.960 yeah. 55:41.960 --> 55:43.480 So I just want to encourage people 55:43.480 --> 55:46.360 to stay connected and to trust. 55:46.360 --> 55:48.000 To trust in the power of heart. 55:48.000 --> 55:51.000 An awareness that can awaken us. 55:51.600 --> 55:53.360 Beautiful. 55:53.360 --> 55:53.920 Thank you. 55:53.920 --> 55:55.000 And then I just have, 55:55.000 --> 55:57.080 a few announcements, 55:57.080 --> 55:58.640 for those of you who are, 55:58.640 --> 56:00.120 self-compassion community 56:00.120 --> 56:02.560 members, the next gathering with me 56:02.560 --> 56:03.600 is going to be on 56:03.600 --> 56:06.600 November 16th at 11 a.m.. 56:07.360 --> 56:09.120 The next guest conversation 56:09.120 --> 56:09.880 will be December 56:09.880 --> 56:12.440 4th with Shauna Shapiro, who's, 56:12.440 --> 56:15.400 also a meditation teacher and academic. 56:15.400 --> 56:17.520 An old friend. 56:17.520 --> 56:18.720 I have 56:18.720 --> 56:21.880 I had a workshop on self-compassion 56:21.880 --> 56:22.760 for caregivers. 56:22.760 --> 56:24.520 It was scheduled for like two days 56:24.520 --> 56:26.120 after the election. 56:26.120 --> 56:27.440 And we decided to move it 56:27.440 --> 56:29.560 to December 5th, 56:29.560 --> 56:30.640 just because people would have 56:30.640 --> 56:31.560 a little more space 56:31.560 --> 56:32.760 to focus on anything 56:32.760 --> 56:34.840 other than the election in the US. 56:34.840 --> 56:36.080 So that's a change. 56:36.080 --> 56:37.000 If you want to know 56:37.000 --> 56:37.680 that there'll be 56:37.680 --> 56:40.120 more information on my website. 56:40.120 --> 56:42.480 And then also I'm doing a retreat 56:42.480 --> 56:43.800 with a meditation teacher 56:43.800 --> 56:44.560 named Cavalier 56:44.560 --> 56:48.000 Morgan on December 10th, live. 56:48.000 --> 56:49.560 And, for five days on 56:49.560 --> 56:52.360 will be island in Washington state, 56:52.360 --> 56:55.240 where we're going to experientially 56:55.240 --> 56:57.280 try to tap into this sense 56:57.280 --> 57:00.760 of connectedness with the larger whole, 57:01.080 --> 57:04.760 the sense of being or inter being as, 57:04.840 --> 57:05.920 the doorway, 57:05.920 --> 57:07.680 the gateway to compassion 57:07.680 --> 57:09.400 for self and others. 57:09.400 --> 57:12.240 So, that's happening. 57:12.240 --> 57:15.760 And is there anything I've forgotten? 57:16.240 --> 57:19.240 No. Okay. Great. 57:19.240 --> 57:20.040 I'll see you. 57:20.040 --> 57:20.640 We get to 57:20.640 --> 57:21.640 we will be getting a sent 57:21.640 --> 57:22.280 the recording, 57:22.280 --> 57:23.800 the link to this recording. 57:23.800 --> 57:25.440 So thank you so much, Tara. 57:25.440 --> 57:27.080 I mean, really, people don't know. 57:27.080 --> 57:30.000 I call Tara when I'm having a problem or, 57:30.000 --> 57:30.800 you know, because she's 57:32.040 --> 57:33.400 she's navigated some things 57:33.400 --> 57:34.600 I haven't navigated yet, 57:34.600 --> 57:36.120 and she's just been so helpful 57:36.120 --> 57:37.280 to me on a personal level. 57:37.280 --> 57:39.080 So I just love you so much, 57:39.080 --> 57:40.200 appreciate so much. 57:40.200 --> 57:41.200 And coming on here 57:41.200 --> 57:42.920 and you've just really been 57:42.920 --> 57:45.000 you're such a light into the world, 57:45.000 --> 57:46.360 such a light into the world. 57:46.360 --> 57:48.720 Joy. Kristin, I think we're hand in hand. 57:48.720 --> 57:51.000 We're all waking up together. 57:51.000 --> 57:51.920 It's beautiful. 57:51.920 --> 57:53.120 Yeah. That's right. 57:53.120 --> 57:54.400 Thank you. 57:54.400 --> 57:56.480 Okay. All right. 57:56.480 --> 57:57.400 And, Yeah, 57:57.400 --> 57:59.400 maybe, what we like to do to end 57:59.400 --> 58:01.440 this is I just like to have everyone 58:01.440 --> 58:02.880 go and gallery view, 58:02.880 --> 58:04.200 and so you can just see the people 58:04.200 --> 58:06.360 who've been sharing this hour with. 58:06.360 --> 58:07.240 And, Shannon, 58:07.240 --> 58:09.600 if you allow everyone to unmute 58:09.600 --> 58:10.280 and just see 58:10.280 --> 58:12.480 all these beautiful souls 58:12.480 --> 58:14.120 from all around the world, 58:14.120 --> 58:16.600 all loving to open our hearts, 58:16.600 --> 58:17.320 the compassion 58:17.320 --> 58:18.680 for self and others, 58:18.680 --> 58:19.840 and then just with each other, 58:19.840 --> 58:22.000 well, but bye bye bye. 58:22.000 --> 58:23.240 Okay, okay 58:24.520 --> 58:27.520 okay. 58:28.800 --> 58:31.200 I think 58:31.200 --> 58:32.880 I 58:32.880 --> 58:34.360 will. Thank you everyone.