Self-Compassion

One of the most important elements of self-compassion is the recognition of our shared humanity. Compassion is, by definition, relational.

Appreciation for our good qualities is really an expression of gratitude for all who have shaped us as individuals. Self-appreciation humbly honors those who have helped us become the person we are today.

A common stumbling block when thinking about self-compassion is the belief that it just means letting ourselves off the hook. When we say "it's only human," isn't this just a way to blow off personal responsibility for our actions?

Don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up in the vain hope that somehow it will help you stop beating yourself up. Instead, take a step back and give your inner critic some slack. In its ineffective, counterproductive way, your inner critic is actually trying to keep you safe.

Although the term "compassion fatigue" is well-known, some psychologists are starting to argue that the term should be changed to "empathy fatigue."

The power of self-compassion is not just an idea; it's very real and actually manifests in our bodies. When we soothe our own pain, we are tapping into the mammalian care-giving system.

The number-one reason people give for why they aren't more self-compassionate is the fear that they will be too easy on themselves. But is self-criticism is really the great motivator it's cracked up to be? No.

The golden rule tells us that we should treat others as we would want them to treat us. Maybe so, but hopefully we won't treat them even half as badly as we treat ourselves.

How do we feel good about ourselves without needing to feel better than others and thus falling into the narcissism/self-loathing trap? One answer is to develop self-compassion.